Reign of the Rejected Rosary (Ryden/Peterick)

Chapter Twenty-Four

(I will post the epilogue tonight as well.)

We never planned for an awful turn of events. We thought we would get out once we got Patrick if we were careful enough. But Pete didn't. I wasn't even surprised that he completely risked everything to save Patrick.

Patrick and Pete were both taken to the hospital. One was okay. One was DOA. I don't need to explain further.

And then there was the thing we never, ever thought would happen. The guilty man escaped custody. But he didn't kill Patrick. And why would he? He wanted to hurt Patrick. And what better way to hurt Patrick, then to shoot his brother?

Patrick would never recover from this. I knew it. I didn't go to Pete's funeral. I stayed with Ryan. Because I knew. And Patrick knew.

Patrick was a disaster that morning. He couldn't stop crying. I dropped him off at the funeral home, and I made my way to the hospital. Spencer went to the funeral to comfort Patrick.

I went to Ryan's hospital room and sat down on the chair next to his bed. I reached out and grabbed his hand.

"I'm so sorry Ryan," I whispered. "I should've been there to save you."

"Brendon," he whispered, tugging on my hand. "Please?"
 
I climbed into the small bed. I laid on my side, left hand still clutched in his. My other hand rested on his chest, right above his beating heart.
  
"Brendon... can I run away with you?"
  
"Yeah Ry," I whispered. "I need you." My hand moved up to his cheek. "I love you." My fingers brushed through his hair, and I could feel the sweat on his forehead. "Where do you wanna go?"
  
He sighed, a slight smile on his lips. "California." He glanced over to me, a happy glint in his dying eyes. "I've always wanted to see the ocean again."
  
"Why?"
  
"I... I went once when I was a kid," he whispered. His smile got bigger. "I don't know why, but... I... I've always loved the water. I wished I could just stay there forever."
  
"Okay," I told him. "We'll go to California. And stay by the beach forever."
  
"Promise?"
  
I kissed him, slow and gentle. "I promise," I whispered against his lips.
  
"Brendon?"
  
I listened to the slow breaths choking from his lungs, and brushed his hair from his face.
  
"Yeah baby?"
  
"Can we get a dog?"
  
I laughed and pressed another kiss to his lips.
  
"Of course."
  
"Brendon?"    
  
"Yeah?"
  
"I... I just love you so much."
  
I bit my lip, trying to stop the tears that had started raining down my face.
  
"I love you too. I really do."
  
"Brendon," he whispered, his caramel eyes slipping shut, "will you tell me about our life together?"
  
My fingers worked through his hair; my other hand squeezed his.
  
"We're gonna leave in the middle of the night," I whispered. "We won't say a word to anyone. We'll go to California. I'll get a job so we can get an apartment. You can enroll in college out there and get your English degree. I know how much you want that."
  
"Ocean, right?"
  
"Yeah. We'll live by the ocean with our dog."
  
"I love you, Brendon."
  
"I love you too, Ryan."
  
He rests his cheek on my shoulder, breaths slow. I kiss his forehead and move my hand down to his heart.
  
"I'll never leave you. I promise you'll get to stay in the ocean. And I'll stay in California with our dog. I'll never leave you alone. I'll talk to you every day. I'll tell you every day just how much I love you. And I promise I'll come join you one day. Just remember that I love you."

I couldn't take talking like that anymore. So I changed.

"No, you can't die. I'll take care of you. I won't let anything happen to you. We'll always be together. You're the only one I love. I'll never forget how much I do. You mean so much to me. I'll give you everything you want. We'll be so happy in California. You'll be with me every day. I'll take you to the beach whenever you want. Ryan, I----."
  
But the heartbeat under my palm faded. And I knew, before I heard, the flat line was coming.

*****

Patrick was loading suitcases into the back of his car. I ran up to him.

It'd been a week since Ryan died. Almost two since Pete died. It had been tough on the both of us. Patrick didn't renew the lease on his apartment. I had been staying with Spencer.

"Patrick, what're you doing?" I asked, trying to catch my breath.

His shoulders shrugged, and he let out a sigh. "There's nothing left for me here anymore." He closed the trunk and leaned against the red car.

"Well where are you going?"

I never thought that Patrick would actually leave. When he gave up the apartment, he said it was because there were just too many memories, and he was just going to find another one. I didn't think that meant he was going to skip town and escape.

"I don't know." He shrugged again. "Maybe I'll call Carolina. Go back to Chicago. Stay with her until I'm back on my feet."

"Come on, you hate her," I said in an attempt to talk him out of it.

Patrick chuckled, but then the frown was back on his face.

"Patrick."

"I'm the reason my mom is dead. And my step-brother. And my husband. I should've been the one to die. I shouldn't have asked for help."

"Don't say things like that."

"I can't be here anymore."

"You can't run away from your problems."

"But that's what you've been planning to do this whole summer," Patrick shot back.

"Why don't we go together?" I whispered.

He shook his head. "I appreciate the offer, but I can't."

"Why not?" I asked, agitated. Patrick couldn't just leave me. I was almost yelling. "Patrick we can help each other!"

"I don't want help!" Patrick yelled. Then, quietly, he said, "I want to forget."

I didn't know what else to say. Patrick's sunglasses were blocking my view of his eyes. I could barley read his expression. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the blue rosary.

"You still have this, don't you?"

I nodded and took mine from my pocket, just to show him that I really did have it.

"Then we still have a piece of each other. If we're meant to meet again, they'll bring us together."

"I'm gonna miss you, Patrick."

He pursed his lips in what I assumed to be sadness.

Patrick got into his car then, without looking back or saying another word. I watched him drive away until the car disappeared around the corner. I felt my eyes well up with tears.

I was exactly where I started in this entire mess. Alone.