Lost Together -> James Conrad

08

I stood next to Mason as she was trying to take a picture of these beautiful lights in the sky. Danny would know how they're called, I always forget.

"Isn't it odd? The most dangerous places are always the most beautiful." We heard James say.

He came to my side and I glanced at him. But when our eyes locked, I felt the fluttering feeling and looked away. I didn't like what it meant. Besides, I owe him an apology for being so mean.

"I'm trying to take a long exposure photograph but my flashlight broke." Mason explained.

James then pulled out a lighter. I furrowed my eyebrows. Well I guess that could work as well. I'm not really practical for these kinds of things.

"Oh well. Try this." He suggested.

He flicked it on and handed it to her. She took it from him and used it to create light for her picture. While I was writing, she was taking photographs of the Iwis and their village.

"Thank you." Mason said.

She noticed what it had engraved. My eyes narrowed. That didn't seem right. Unless there's something that James isn't telling us. I guess we can't expect to know all about him.

"Royal Air Force?" She inquired.

"My father's. He threw it to me from the train as he rolled off to fight the Nazis. He was like John Wayne to me. Some kind of mythic hero." James explained.

I looked at him curiosily. I never knew his father was a soldier. There's so much I don't know about James yet I find myself wanting to know. He's a mystery to me. He reminds me of my brother a little bit.

"Did he come back home?" I asked.

My voice soft as I spoke to him. James glanced at me and I saw the look in his eyes. Suddenly I didn't need an answer anymore. It was written all over his face.

"His plane went down near Hamburg. They searched for him for months... I suppose no man comes home from war. Not really." James stated.

"I'm sorry about your dad." I said.

He turned to me and I noticed the hidden pain in his eyes. It happened a long time ago, but it still hurt him. Losing your parents can be difficult, especially at a young age.

"I'm sorry about your brother." He told me.

I tensed as he mentioned Danny and he noticed. He went to say something but decided against it. Mason noticed our interaction and narrowed her eyes.

"I'm gonna head to bed." She stated quickly.

She walked past us and mouthed at me.

"Talk to him."

I nodded as she left. He stepped forward to look at the lights. I liked the way his face was illuminated by them. It made him even more beautiful than usual.

"Can I tell you something?" I asked.

"Permission granted." He said.

A chuckle escaped my lips as he smiled. There it was. The smile I was most eager to see. It was so simple yet it took my breath away. I did that, I made him smile.

"I'm sorry for not believing in you." I apologised.

He looked at me, a small part of him surprised. I'm not the type to apologise often. It means admitting that you're wrong and I hate being wrong. I was often called stubborn because of it.

"It's alright. You were right. I am scared as much as you are on this island." He told me.

I bit my lip and stepped closer to him staring at the lights. His presence felt different now. Like I could hope again. As if these few sentences were enough to silence my doubts.

"Why did you come here anyway? I know they offered money but still." I questioned.

He seemes like he could be anywhere in the world. Or even home. Perhaps he doesn't know what home is to him. I know I have trouble with that. Riley and I live together, but it's not home. Not quite. I miss Danny.

"I don't know. I guess I'm just a little lost. I came here hoping to do some good. To find what I'm missing." He stated.

A ghost of a smile formed on my lips. That's a feeling I can relate to. Chasing after something new in hopes of finding your purpose. It's what I've been doing since my brother died. Finding his piece.

"I know what that feels like." I mumbled.

"What about you? Why are you here?" He asked.

I swallowed a lump in my throat. Saying that Radna offered me money wouldn't be the real reason. I knew he had an ulterior motive for that. No, I came here because I was lost as well.

"Danny, my brother..." I trailed off.

James shifted uncomfortably. I was afraid of breaking down. Speaking about him twice in less than a few hours feels overwhelming. It hurt to mention him or to even say his name.

"Yeah. I heard you and Mason talking about him." He admitted.

I looked at him surprised. I wasn't mad at him as he probably expected. More like relieved that I don't have to repeat how he died. I don't have the strength to do that.

"It's just that after he went missing, a part of me was lost. And I thought if I do this, if I follow his path..." I said desperately.

"You'll find that part of him you lost." James finished.

I blinked away the tears forming in my eyes and nodded. That's all I ever wanted. To feel at peace with his death, to be able to move on. But my heart won't let me.

"Yes. But all it's done is made me miss him more." I explained.

James stepped forward and wiped away a tear that escaped. I inhaled sharply at his touch. His hand was so soft and warm. I promised myself I wouldn't cry and here I am letting that one tear fall down.

"Perhaps we can be lost together." He told me.

I looked up into his blue eyes and saw the sincerity in them. He was offering me a shoulder to lean on. Somebody to trust. His hand was still on my cheek and I leaned into his touch.

"Perhaps." I whispered.

He leaned in and my breath hitched. His lips were so close and I longed for them to connect with mine. To have contact with him. He looked into my eyes first before doing exactly that. All of the world faded and it was just him and me.

Our lips moving slowly. Both of us afraid of making the wrong move. The kiss was magnetic. I couldn't pull away even if I tried to. My hands went to his chest feeling the heat radiating from his body. It was perfect.

We slowly pulled away and he leaned his forehead against mine. I was breathless yet I wished for him to kiss me again. To feel his lips against mine.

"Why did you do that?" I asked.

My voice barely over a whisper. I could feel his heart beating rapidly. It made me glad I had that effect on him. Mostly because he had the same effect on me.

"Because I'm scared." He whispered.

I closed my eyes as he pulled me to his chest. His arms wrapped around me. He was afraid of not being able to do it later, of not having the courage to do so.

"It's alright. I'm scared, too." I admitted.

But he knew that without me even saying it.