Femme fatale in the Devil's territory

Gun VS Heart

Rogue POV

Ryan has been acting really cold lately. Since we got back to New York he has been cold with me, not any calls or texts and even when he speaks to me it's like he is forced to do it.

I am assuming he is dealing with the debt he has to pay. He said that it wasn't such a big deal, yet I feel like that is not true. I feel like he is struggling to do something.

First, I felt like it was something I did, but now I know that is not that. What is it?

I hear my phone ring.. it was Ryan. My lips curve into a smile when I see his name appear on my phone. I suppose he got into his senses.

"Hey."-I say.

"Hey, please come over my house tomorrow afternoon, there are somethings we have to discuss."-he simply says and my smile disappears when I listen to his cold voice. It sounded so distant, so different compared to the way he used to talk to me.

"Okay."-I simply say and wait for an answer... But I don't get it. He ends the phone call leaving me there waiting for something that I assume was now gone.
_____________________________

Ryan POV

I called her. I couldn't listen to her voice. I have been trying to avoid her for so long, keeping her away from me, away from my misery. Keeping her safe. But I couldn't anymore.

As soon as I finish the phone call I smash my phone on the floor and get out of my study. I knew that I had to calm down and complete my decision. It was the right decision to make, or at least that's what I kept telling myself, trying to comfort my dark soul.

Now all I have to do is wait, wait for the hour when I give away my everything..

She was close, very close probably. The clock was ticking and I could hear the wind blowing outside, probably combining with the sound of her heels.

The more time passed, the more nervous I got. All I could do was look at the drawer and the watch, drawer-watch, drawer-watch.... I did this every two minutes. The waiting is worse than anything else.

While I was in agony struggling between the battles in my head she comes inside of the house. I could feel her. There was this connection that I couldn't explain. I could sense her scent, feel her aura.

The sound of her heels was getting louder and so did my heartbeats. I had never been in this condition.

She slowly opens the door and comes in.

"Hey, I just got here. Is everything alright?"-she asks in a lower voice. There was distance and coldness around us, it's like she could sense my thoughts.

I looked at her for a moment and then looked back at the drawer. I felt like a coward.

"Yes, there is a problem."-I say as I got closer to my desk, closer to that drawer. I felt my whole body trembling.

"What is it? I have seen you so worried lately.. It doesn't matter what is the problem, you know that we can fix it. When we are together nothing can stop us."-she says making it more harder for me to do what I had to do.

The closer I got to the drawer, the harder the task seemed to be done. I was now standing in front of it.

"The problem it's not about me.... it is about you.."-I say to her, that last part coming out less powerful that I thought.

"Me? What about me?"-she questions. Damn why did she make this so hard?

I slowly open the drawer, my fingers sliding on the metallic object inside. I grab it and hold it tightly without taking it out of the drawer.

She took a step closer trying to reach me:"Ryan tell me..."

...And that's what triggered me. My name coming out of her mouth always had an effect in me. This time....

I take the gun out of the drawer and point it to her. She just stands there looking at me her eyes wide, but not from being scared.

"So this is what has you so upset these days? You were thinking how to kill me?"-she says.

I don't answer. I just hold my gun towards her.

My hand started shaking. My body was betraying me. It was like that gun weighted too much for me to handle.

"It's alright..."-she says, her eyes watering.-"If this is how it is supposed to be.... do it!"

I took a step closer to her... that was it! I was about to shoot the only woman I have ever said "I love you" to, I was about to take the life of my life source. I was about to... cry.

The gun felt hot in my hands. And very heavy, I was now holding it with both of my hands.

"Kill her! End this!"-my mind said.

"You will win! You always do!"-said experience.

"You are the most powerful man in this land! This will be over and you won't even remember her."-said conscience.

"Nobody has power over you and your gun."-said pride.

I take the final courage to look at her. She was crying. Not the usual crying though. She wasn't making any noises, tears were going down her soft cheeks,.. her eyes closed.

"YOU LOVE HER!"-my heart whispered...

Suddenly both of my hands weren't capable of holding the small gun. I tried to hold it, but I was failing... miserably..

"GO!"-I yell.

She suddenly opens her eyes like she was waking up from a bad dream.

"Wha... What?"-she asks again looking at me surprised.

"GO, LEAVE.. NOW!!!"-I say putting the gun at the table.

She quickly leaves from my room leaving me in the darkness... I knew I had lost her forever.

I drop into the chair and let my tears fall. Now I was back into the darkness, the same darkness I was in before she came.. But can you live in darkness when you have enjoyed the light??..
--------------------------------------
I started to cry while writing this. What is wrong with me? 😭😭😭 ... Anyway this isn't the end yet. Btw has any of you seen this TV show called SKAM?
Lot's of love badgal ❤️❤️