Utilized [h.s] - slow updates

Chapter 10.

CONTAINS SMUT

There are two kinds of pain. The sort of pain that makes you strong, or there's useless pain - the sort of pain that's only suffering. I have no patience for useless things. But then, pain is also a part of your life, your pain molds you into a person that will be wiser in the future.

Somedays I wake up and I feel so empty. So alone, so invisible and completely dissatisfied with who I am. Everything feels so meaningless. Then again, you wont understand untill it happens to yourself.

I'm trapped in my own thoughts.

Moments like this require someone who will act; who will do the unpleasant things. The necessary things and I'm going to do some serious shit right now.

The air is thick with a mixture of alcohol, smoke and sweat from all of the bodies. People who are out on the dancefloor behaves very sexually against each other. The loud music pounds from wall to wall which also causes the floor emits vibrations what goes through my entire body.

People comes here because of two reasons - One, to get drunk or two, to find someone to take home. Girls in ridiculousy short skirts are showing off for the guys. But then there's me, I look exactly like them and I just got here from work and a reminder, I work in a stripclub. If I got the chance I would wear more clothing.

Some girls need to realize that going out on the weekends, and hooking up with random guys isn't going to get them their dream guy. It's only going to get them douche bags who will forget about them the moment someone better comes along. Maybe its not that there are no "good guys" out there, it's just that some of you are looking in the wrong places.

I took a gulp from my drink, letting the alcohol burn down my throat as I leaned against the bar edge, scanning over the crowded dance floor. Harrys gaze have been burning against my skin for a long time and I haven't been bother to do anything about the situation.

I want pain, I want alcohol, I want rough sex , I want drugs, I want to feel numb. I don't want to feel anything anymore..

''Enjoying your view Styles?'' I say and took another gulp from my drink.

''Very''

''You're a creep who has been staring at me the whole time since we got here'' I look at my left side and got imediatly eye contact with the curly haird guy.

''I happen to find you extremly attractive.. Besides.. I am not the only one who apparently thinks in the same way'' His green, powerful eyes stared right into my soul. As I look over the place I find a group of guys, having drinks in their hands and they look high as hell and they where staring at me.

Goose bumps came crawling from my neck and spread like fire running over my body as I made eye contact with one of the guys from the group. His blond hair and his clear blue eyes that resembles sea, sparkles all the way from the other side of the room. His sinister smile spread across his face and the other guys where standing around him, licked their dry lips and stared at me.

They all started to laugh when he said something, but they never left their eyes from me. And I swear, I could hear that thick, irish accent wherever I am..

I have to get out from here before something happens.

Then it hit me.... Harry.

I frown with a smile on my face. Harrys teeth found his lower lip while he got up from the chair. I lean back against the bar with both my elbows as support and his body moves very slowly against me. Harry puts both of his hands each side of me, leaning against the bar edge.

''You have no idea how much I want to go inside of your head. I want to know what you are thinking about, I want to know every thought of yours.'' He tells me with a burning gaze.