universed (sillie)

faded

millie sat on the left side in the back row of the old classroom. pen in mouth, kicking her leg in a rhythm. sadie sink her best friend sat next to her, her ocean eyes dancing around the room, anywhere but the teacher. with a smirk creeping at her mouth she slowly rubbed the toe of her shoe against Millie's leg. slowly, slowly. millie ignored it adverting her eyes from the wooden desk up to the teacher who was facing the chalk board. the white dust a messy blur in the girl's both minds. the ginger furrowed her eyebrows, and started to trail her leg higher, teasing. higher and higher. stopping when the sole of her shoe rested on the other girl's inner thigh. sadie stared at Millie, whose eyes were squeezed shut. dropping her foot, she innocently bit down on her lip twirling a strand of long hair around her finger. breathing in she tried again at her little game. delicately, she slipped her fingers onto millie's knee. she whispered a pattern against millie's knee and leaned in closer towards her friends' ear 'british why are you ignoring me?' her bottom lip brushing against her ear lobe. 'am I... distracting you?' she sung pulling away. huffing millie swung her head around glaring at the ginger.

i flung my earphones out of my head, biting down on my bottom lip. tt was a glowing afternoon. the neighbourhood, white picket fences and violet roses.the smell of late night dinners lingering in the air, and the hum of laughs flying in the dull wind. i trail my eyes along the jagged foot path focusing on the cracked line that slither along that she and I leapt over just two years ago, to us a deep valley filled with lava. nausea hits me and i swallow the dry air, stumbling over the dry grass past the faded playground with faded memories and to a park bench, the park bench. sitting down i squeezed my eyes shut, leaning forward on my crossed knees. i fiddle with the strings of my hoodie, a gesture that's just stuck. a burst of laughter echoes in the purple sky and i follow the sound. a boy, young, an array of freckles on his face, pudgy at the cheeks climbed out of the slide. unbalanced on his yellow converse. an older sister, maybe, slides down straight after, maybe nine probably ten, hugs him from behind a smile on her caked up face. i catch my self-laughing under my breath at their pureness. i blink all emotion draining as another memory waves over my sandy mind.

'millie' she sung. 'millie' her eyes filled with concern bared on her left cheek. 'mills' pressing her lips together she eventually turned her face to the older girl. millie's eyes were absent, lost even, not even meeting the girl's blue eyes. 'babe?' sadie whispered reaching her arm out to place it along the cracked picnic table on to millie's fingers. She tilted her head, scrunching her nose. 'miilllieeee' she whined. 'yeah sades' millie swallowed. 'whats wrong' she spoke narrowing her eyes. 'and don't just brush this off and tell me its nothing'. millie stomps up from the cold wood and lightly runs to the red slide twirling down to the bark. MILLIE BROWN=A GAY SLUT slurred along the scratched plastic. she closed her eyes heaving a breath, she felt sadie's warm breathe hit the nape of her neck and turned diving into sadie's arms, her chin tucked into her elbow. The  girl sung sweet nothings into her pale ear, absently stroking her hair. 'shhhh Mills, you know that's not fucking true'. millie nodded into her chest but felt a disgusting swirling in her lower stomach, bile crawling up her throat knowing at least half of it was in fact the truth. 

let me know if you like, also the flashbacks are not in order and are all over the place, sort of up to you guys to guess and theorize xo

-m