So you can see my full author's note on my FF.com account, but basically I'm going to try to finish this. So this chapter, crappy as it may be, is a sign of good faith.
Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Laney opened her eyes. Her legs felt like lead blocks attached to her body. She could barely open her right eye due to the pain that seemed to spider around it every time she tried. Her back stung, singing a song of pain and she couldn’t remember why. She rubbed at her back, in an attempt to soothe the pain and she felt raised lines along her skin as her fingertips traveled over her body to her stomach. Her stomach stung with a similar sensation and she lifted her shirt only to find a map of raised, red welts covering her smooth stomach.
What a wonderful world
What a wonderful
What a wonderful world
Suddenly she remembered. She could see her father standing over her belt in hand. She felt the stinging snap when it hit her skin. She remembered his face, hollow and empty, with eyes like two black stones, cold and unyielding. Then the sorrow hit her all at once, because in that moment she felt so alone and all she had wanted was someone to comfort her but that someone was gone. And it was all her fault.
You chop them down before
You even give them half a chance
You never know you're wrong
Until you see the blood on your hands
You run around like there's nothing wrong nothing wrong
No one about so you please yourself please yourself please yourself
Never any guilt nothing on your mind on your mind on your mind
But what a wonderful world this is
Always fair
Always kind
What a wonderful world
What a wonderful
What a wonderful world
She was alone, all alone, alone with that monster. All she wanted was Corey. He always made this feeling better, but after what she did to Corey, he probably wouldn’t even want to see her. But she could picture what he would do. What he had always done ever since they were kids. She couldn’t believe he was out of her life. He’d always been there for her, ever since they were twelve and he figured out just how much her life at home sucked. Though when Laney thought about it, he’d been taking care of her for as long as they’d been friends. Like when they were 8 and they went on a school field trip to this big museum. Laney was new to school then. It was after they got evicted from they house a few towns over. Laney had no friends and had tried to hide when the teacher anouced they’d be following the ever so loved ‘buddy-system’, but Corey saw the quivering lip and lack of lunch sack (constituted by a lack of loving parents). He gave her this big smile and said “Do you like Gushers?” and when she nodded, he made the ultimate kid sacrifice; he presented her with the unopened pack of Gushers from his lunch. He then went on to share his entire meal with her.Or when they were 13 and Laney’s Mom died. While her mother was not really all that loving, she still defended Laney and protected her when Dear Old Dad was on the warpath. She was the closest thing to a loving parent Laney had and she was devastated when she died. Corey would come by to see her ever night. He’d bring her Gushers like when they were little and he’d keep telling bad jokes until she laughed.
He was her best friend. Her closest pal and suddenly he was ripped from her life. She could still feel his ‘itsallgooooodlanes’ hugs and hear him sing softly in her ear. It was Penny Lanes by the Beatles except he’d switch the lyrics and sing, ‘Laney Penn is in my ears and in my eyes, There beneath the blue suburban skies’ instead of ‘Penny Lane is in my ears and in my eyes, There beneath the blue suburban skies’ He always used to do that after something happened with her dad. When she’d run over to his house in a tear filled daze and they’d sit in his garage. He’d chant stupid stuff like that to her until she calmed down, or she fell asleep. The regular beat of the way he’d repeat her name like a mantra lulling her into a deep sleep.
It was in those moments that she fell in love with him, the ones where he was her sweet and caring Corey, who was funny and just a little bit dopey. That was the one she loved. That douche-y chill act he put on granted on her nerves. She knew Corey would never be interested in her as anything other than a friend, but it was hard not to. He was involved in a facet of her life that no one else knew about. He had seen her at her most vulnerable and had never pushed her down. She would always love him for that, because he taught that people were not all bad, that not everyone was out to hurt her.
She could almost hear the quiet soothing voice he used as he chanted her name. Suddenly she realized. Her bedroom was still dark, which meant that it was still night outside. ‘laney, Laney, Laney…’ And then the music started.
I never knew
I never knew that everything was falling through
That everyone I knew was waiting on a cue
To turn and run when all I needed was the truth
But that's how it's got to be
It's coming down to nothing more than apathy
I'd rather run the other way than stay and see
The smoke and who's still standing when it clears
How’s that for not writing in six months? I know I’ve written better but I want to put this up as a sign of good faith. I hope it flows well and I hope you guys like it!
Love,
Rose
Also songs are How To Save A Life by the Fray, Wonderful World by the Small Hours and Over My Head by The Fray but covered by A Day To Remember.
