Once Upon a Cliché

Chapter 2

Chapter 2 ~

          “Emmmmmyyyyyy!!”

          It was probably a good time to run.

          I grinned in what most likely looked like a please-shoot-me-now sort of fashion. “Char—oh dear.” Grin still intact, I suppressed my inner urge to scream as I was tackled to the ground by a ninety-five pound fourteen year-old girl. My head was spinning. Ooh, what wonderful sparkly lights. For some reason, I felt this weird need to shout, oh Mommy, look, there are a million suns spinning around my head! “Charlie,” I coughed. “Morning.”

          “Oh, my, god, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?” Charlotte Shana Bell, a.k.a. my best friend since the sixth grade, all but screeched in my ear. “It’s the first day of freaking high school!”

          Oh lord. Here we go again. “First of all,” I coughed again, “please get off. You’re crushing my lungs.” As she oh-so-kindly obliged, I sat up, dusting off my worn-out jeans with a sigh. “Second, it’s just another first day at school. We’ll be getting three more of these, just in case you didn’t know.” I tried to keep an attentive ear as she rambled on about how we were no longer junior high school girls, but high school women. Unfortunately, you can only force yourself to listen for the first dozen or so times before your brain starts to wander.

          “And, like, anyway…” I winced. There goes another “like” I’ll be adding to my word count. “Do you know what this means?”

          I shook my head blankly.

          “Okay.” She tapped her chin with a pristinely-polished nail. “Let me try to put this in terms you’ll understand. We’ll be entering a whole new environment. New teachers, classes, activities, right? It’s going to be like a totally different world we’re discovering.”

          Alright…I was getting where this was going.

          “And there are going to be boys!” Yup. She lost me again. “Oh my god, and maybe we can finally get you interested in your, you know…” She raised a hand to cover her mouth in a pseudo-whisper, “physical appearance.”

          Before I started to argue, I cast a quick glance around us to make sure no one else was listening. I mean, we were right in my front driveway. Any moment, Hale (insert blech here) would be stopping by to pick up Hailin for school. Like a, um, carpool sort of thing to help the environment. Or so Hailin called it. Anyway, back to my arguing. “What do you mean, my ‘physical appearance?’ I feel fine now.”

          Charlotte wrinkled her nose with displeasure. “Gosh, Emmy, do you know that you are the only girl I know who doesn’t want to look sexy?”

          “Psh!” I crossed my arms across my admittedly flat chest. “I can look sexy if I want to!”

          She raised an eyebrow at me. “Have you seen yourself? Seriously, just, like, make a comparison. Take a look at me,” she flaunted her perfectly-curved, size-zero waist, “and then look at you.”

          I sighed. Again. She did actually have a point there.

          Exhibit A: Charlotte. Formerly a dark-haired brunette, she’d dyed her hair a bottle blonde (which I’d thoroughly advised her against), worked out and dieted until she was stick thin, tanned, and made herself somewhat of a makeup expert over summer break. Now, I hardly recognized her. Sure, she’d made an effort all throughout junior high, but I guess the looming deadline of freshman year had pressured her into going full-out in the looks department.