"I promised myself that I wouldn't fall in love, but it was 2 in the afternoon and you held my hand when my favourite song came on and I felt happy for the first time in a while"
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amelieldxo A good hike to help clear my mind
"He shouldn't have done it. I told him not to and yet he still did it" I stated as we sat down at the top of the hill.
"But you told Marine that's telling someone" Cass says to me.
"That's different I can't lie to Marine"
"Toby can't lie to the boys. Marine is your family, that team is Toby's"
She was correct with that one. I couldn't have a go at Toby when I did the exact thing. But he told the entire team I just told one person...well now two.
"Maybe he told the boys because he was thinking that this could last?" Is she right? Did Toby really think that? Can it last?
"Cass. I love him. I shouldn't, but I do. It's not shaking hands or stuttering just with hello. It's not short skirts or red lips. It's jeans and a t-shirt witg bare skin. Its finding him in a crowd and not wanting to change who I am. It's wanting to know what he wanted to be as a kid and what his greatest fear is. It's wanting to know his mistakes and looking past all the things "wrong" with him. It's small smiles at my shoes and glances towards him. It's wanting him to be happy whether I am part of that happiness or not"
After a couple minutes of silence, I looked at her and whispered as softly as I can "I love him with my whole heart and I'm blocking him out"
"Oh Ami, you cna easily forgive him he wouldn't mind. He loves you too and he just wants to say that but you have been ignoring him for a week. Go to him and tell him that. Tell him you forgive and you are sorry that you caused such loneliness"
She was right I have to do. I turned to her and nodded. "We should go now then."
----------time skip---------- I passed myself in front of Toby's home waiting for him to come back from training. It felt like hours when I saw his car pull into the drive. He turned it off and quickly stepped out with a confused look on his face "Amél..." he started but I interrupted. Taking a step forward towards him I started my speech "Toby I'm sorry. For everything. For having a go at you for telling the boys, I told Marine because she is my family so I thought it didn't mind but the boys are your family so you had a right to tell them. Then I'm sorry for ignoring you for..." lips landed on mine to interrupt me but there were Toby's so I kissed back almost instantly. We pulled away with not a care in the world and with just silence around us until he broke it.
"Cass messaged me telling you were going to do apologise. You have nothing to apologise for"
