Escaping Cliché (BXB) «COMPLETED»

Chapter 12

It was now the morning of the play and I haven't got a wink of sleep last night after that 50 minute nap I had before I woke up crying. I don't usually go through this every play but somehow today I'm so full of nerves that I'm afraid of even opening my mouth because I might vomit. I mean I do get nervous before any play but not this nervous. I haven't got this anxious for a play since I started in middle school however I do understand why, it's my first big role. And the dream, more of a nightmare really didn't help either.

I dreamed that I screwed up the entire play by oversleeping for an hour and tried to come to the play anyway still wearing my pyjamas and morning head but was stumped to see Sam, never mind that I never saw him before in my life but somehow I just knew it was him, playing my part and Andreas sitting on the front row cheering him on and throwing roses to him. I felt different emotions all at the same time but before I knew it the play was done and everyone was standing on ovation while I stand there stunned.

And when I was finally unfreezing my limbs, I was trampled by the crowd cheering "SAM" again and again until they were on the stage and they all cheered:

Sam, Sam, He's our guy;

He's awesome and saved our play;

Shame, Shame, Shame on Zeke;

He bailed on us;

He's such a Freak

Everyone was glaring and pointing fingers at me while chanting louder and louder until Mr. L told them to shut up in a megaphone. And when everyone was silent he started scolding and embarrassing me saying how irresponsible I was being from sleeping in class and skipping classes to being late and crashing the play in my pyjamas. I admit I was hurt, really hurt, about his accusations but it wasn't the worst thing that happened, a close second though.

The worst thing was Andreas looking at me disappointedly while shaking his head and you loser we are no longer friends and turned and kissed Sam causing me to yell NO and wake up bathing in my sweat, tears and what seems to be drool.

I shook myself out of that dream. Ugh. Sam is haunting me even in my dreams. Why'd Andreas have to bring him? Why'd he have to date him should've been the question. No, why do I even care is the better question. It's not like Sam being there is equivalent to a scout being there not that I would care because I'm still a sophomore but Ugh. Why do I care? Why do I care? So what if Andreas is there? So what if he's bringing Sam there? So what if he's showing off his new 'boyfriend'? It's not like I care? Ugh. Ugh, Brain. Please. Stop thinking about things I don't know the answers to.

So here I am still staring at my ceiling, replying the dream over and over again wondering why it bothered me so much. Why Sam replacing me bothered me so much? Well Brain. You're stupid today. Because of obvious reasons, Duh! Plus he doesn't even know my part, he'd screw the entire paly and I didn't even tell Andreas what it was so there is no way he knows. My parents don't even know. It was a surprise for them. I was playing Alexander Hamilton. I am having a big role in a play. Me. The sophomore. Anyway it was probably because of the lack of experienced male actors. But... still. I got it. One of the main roles!

However going back to the question, I mean I guess if I did end up jeopardizing the play, the understudy would've played my part or at least someone who knows my part like Leo. So that probably wasn't it. So it must be... Wait. Why did Andreas kissing him made me so sad and hurt? I mean... that was probably what they have been doing, what they are doing, what they will be doing. Ugh. No. No. No.

Shaking myself out of it again, I showered and got ready. However, I still have a lot of time left considering it's just a little over 5 am and we don't have to be there until at least 7:00. The show is at 10 but we need to do our hair and makeup and do last minutes run through with the play.