fitoor is when something overwhelms to the point of little insanity. why did you become my fitoor? why did you have to go and make yourself so overwhelming to me, make me gain a sort of madness for you, make me want you? there's a physical ache, raking through my bones and showing up in my writings when the mere thought of you seems to show up in my head. I can't bring myself to despise it, or despise you, how could I when I had found myself harvesting hope in the same words you'd say to me, in the same dainty face that held something I didn't know I had wanted till now. if I'm honest, I had thought it would have been easy at the start, it was me and you and that's it, no other mention of ANYONE ELSE in the picture, that would be it. perhaps it's my fault, for not even thinking twice of any possibilities of the odds branching out to others, to other. maybe I'm too full of myself, but I had told myself that I would be able to handle a 'no' coming from your plush lips, yet when the situation turned to show cards of another being, I couldn't. I can't. I can apologise to you, now, again, repeatedly, hundreds of times, but I can't bring myself to be bare to your eyes anymore, to act any different to how I'm feeling.
I LOV-
YOU ARE READING
ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND
شِعرwhat a loss to spend that much time with someone, only to find out that she's a stranger.
