It's So Quiet ⌛ narry

dead inside - niall

I watched from afar as they buried me deep inside the dirt. My mother is crying her eyes out, while trying to touch the wooden 'chest' I'm apparently buried in. After she finally touched, what is like a part of me in her eyes, she kept crying and ran into Harry's arms.

There were all of my friends, loved ones, crying and bawling their eyes out for me, who isn't even in that wooden thing. Louis, Liam and Zayn put the dirt over the chest and buried it with silent sobs.

"Niall James Horan died 14.09.2017, please say whatever you have now or keep it in yourself forever." That was the last thing I heard before I took another plane and left the country.

•••

I got myself a little house, deep in the woods, not too far away from the road, but enough for me not to be recognized. It was enough for me to live a peaceful life. I have enough money to live for about a year or so, so I don't really have to worry about that, or worry about finding a job.

// 2 WEEKS AFTER //

2 weeks have passed and with a help of scarfs and much clothes, nobody recognized me. There was this little girl though, at the store, that left an impact on me that I don't know why, but bothers me.

"Hey big man!"  Someone shouted at me and when I looked down, I saw a little girl, smiling widely while holding her teddybear out for me. "Why are you all so covered up? Are you afraid you'll catch a cold?" She asked, not stopping smiling for once.

I chuckled for the first time I've been here. "Yes, love. I'm afraid I'll catch a cold, you have to be too, if you get sick, you can't play with your friends and have fun with your family." I tapped her nose and smiled warmly at her.

"I don't have any friends." She replied immediately, still not stopping smiling, even though it's not a happy topic to talk about. "But you can be my new friend?" She asked, her eyes gloving. "My family is on a trip away, so my brother takes care of me. But that's not the topic. I want you to be my friend." 

"Okay, love. We're friends." I couldn't decline her so I just accepted. She started giggling and held up her pinkie, waiting for me to intertwine mine with hers. I smiled and intertwined our pinkies together, not letting go until another man came towards us and coughed.

"Look, Jimmy! I made a new friend! I'm not worthless like you said! He actually wanted to be friends with me!" She clapped her hands in front of the man, who I assume, is her brother. 

The guy looked and nodded at me, hurrying the little girl out of the store. "Yes, but you can't be like me. Ever." That's the thing I heard he said to the little girl before disappearing out of the store.

I couldn't stop thinking about it since that day I came back into my house. It's not really my problem to worry about it, but that little girl is innocent and so cute and she's left a big impact on me. She seemed genuinely surprised that someone actually wanted to be friends with herand it just made me ask myself, did I really made a right decision? Was my decision to leave my friends and loved ones thinking that I'm dead, crying their eyes out and probably crying themselves to sleep, thinking they've lost me, smart? I guess it was. In some way.

I really needed a time away from my fans and I didn't want my face to be on covers of the newspapers and just everywhere. It just went too far. I didn't even have privacy anymore and it was eating me out.

I bought an iPhone 7s too, but I'm afraid to turn it on. I'm afraid that someone will notice that it's actually me, that I'm actually alive and I don't want that. I'm not ready and I will never be, because...

This is the life I've chosen to live.

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WOHOO! this is only the introduction to the story. (:

thank you for reading, i love y'all xx

also tell me, do you like it so far? i'm sorry if this chapter isn't the best, but it's 2 AM, i have school tomorrow and i'm sleepy. i will try harder for the next chapter 100%. x

Love ya,
Jo. x