perspective | jjk

15.

we kissed that night, and you wouldn't stop. your hands shyly freeing me from my cage of clothes and i did the same, and i felt like a fool because although i knew i loved you, i was not the one for you. no matter how much i ignored min-ji i still felt guilty.

we turned it into a game which went on for months, and months on. when you weren't spending time with her or you weren't at work you were beside me, making me believe i was the right woman for you when in fact i was a hopeless girl. one you should have stayed away from. it clicked, every time we touched, that you were jealous, and you wanted me for yourself. you pulled me away from donghyuck, despite me wanting you both, and with your lips, you captured me like hana did to you, like min-ji still does.

my perspective on you changed; you weren't the only man in our house, but the only man in my heart. i went to school and avoided any advances of any boy i had previously flirted with made towards me. i still craved their attention, i couldn't lie, but i had you, the man i had always wanted, and i was foolishly loyal to you, despite knowing you weren't loyal to me.

but my happy, sixteen year old heart wouldn't let me drop you.