Loveless || August Alsina

Chapter 9 -

In loving memory

The next morning I bolted out of August's house, after throwing on some of his joggers and a sweatshirt, I left. I needed to see them. I ran past the creaking gate swaying in the light breeze as I raced past the lost lives, a silent prayer replaying in my head for their unfortunate souls and the families that lost them.
I knelt in front of them, uncaring of the fact that my knees will be dirty afterwards.

In loving memory of Quincy Joel Savage
1991-2013
A genuine soul and a loving brother. Will be dearly missed by anyone lucky enough to have met him.

I shook my head at the half-ass shit written on the gravestone. They didn't even know him. The biggest understatement of my life.

"Hey quince, I miss you so much" I cried to my big brother. "I can't help but laugh that they put your middle name on there. You were so mad at mama for that, at school they used to call you the "whitest black guy" and you hated it so bad. You laughed when you heard June's though so it was all good. When am I gonna hear your laugh again quince? When are you gonna light up my life with your smile again? You fucking selfish you know that! You just left me! You taught me how to love myself, how to love others and how to treat people. You're the kindest person I'll ever meet and I miss you more than you can imagine. After mum and dad left I thought that the pain was unbearable but this...this is so much worse quince. Say hi to mum and dad for me, I haven't visited them in a while. I know June's sorry for what he said, he was just mad. I wish he was more understanding like you, your abundance could have been shared with him you selfish ass! I wish you could be here with me quince, you let me cry to you and held me together, now that you're gone who on earth can I turn to? Kali's struggling without you, you didn't even get to hold your son Quince. His third birthday is in May and he's so beautiful. I wish you could have held him, and seen the resemblance I see your beautiful eyes whenever I look at him.I look to you for guidance and wisdom on how to live, I know you're with me and you will always live In my heart. I wish I could hold you one more time, feel your stupid dreads as they itch my skin, fight you one more time. I'll love you forever quince, you'll always be my brother." I couldn't even breathe after my speech. As I shifted my body to the left I sat in front of another brother's gravestone.
In loving memory of Melvin Alsina
1992-2013
A loving son and brother, and a kind hearted child of God. In the memory of all he had met.

"Hey Mel" I wiped my cascading tears, "I'm so sorry I haven't come for so long, I don't have an excuse. Why did you have to leave like that? August and Aven need you Mel. I need you Mel! I still don't believe it's true, mama Sheila is so strong, she just prays to you everyday and tells us you love us. I already knew that. I need you to make me laugh again, I need to to mock or take advantage of my cooking again, anything! I need you and Quincy back, and it hurts so bad I won't see you again until it's my time. Ivy doesn't cry anymore, she lives in a place filled with happy memories and I continuously beg her  to take me there with her. Kay Kay is gonna turn 7 soon and she needs her daddy back. She talks to me about you all the time. I love and miss you so much .Please don't give up on me Mel, you'll always be my brother, I love you." With that I walked out of the graveyard, thinking about how I wished they didn't have to leave me.