The savage wild

6. The change in soul

Sorry for the looooooong wait haha but finally I updated. :) Hope you enjoy it! introduced a new lil character^^ guess the meaning of the name Rafe and Daciana? to the side pic of the cave;D enjoy! x

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I woke up with a start. I was immediately aware of all that was close. I heard sounds I had never heard before, even with my keen sense of hearing. I heard the soft breathing of another predator more than a mile away from me. I heard the flutter of wings high above my head. I heard the growl of a boar somewhere near the river. Sounds that were normally too far away for me to hear, were now distinct. I could place the sound without effort. Knew exactly how far away from me it was, if it held danger, who the sound made and what it meant.

I also smelled more. Even though I sat in the cave, I could smell what was outside of it. Even my eyes seemed keener.  It was amazing. Luckily, instead of overbearing my mind however, I had no trouble processing the load of information that filtered through my brain.

I raised my body from the ground. My muscles seemed slicker, more controlled than they ever were. I felt stronger, faster and.. And wolf. I had always felt like a wolf of course. I was a werewolf after all. But not like this. I was truly one with the beast inside me. My human self had merged completely with my wolf one. I remembered my dream. Of how we shared the blood of our souls. Of how my wolf had evaporated and went inside of me. I shivered, but didn’t really care. What did it matter anyway? I hadn’t changed into human form for almost three weeks. Something like this was bound to happen. Or maybe it had something to do with Selene, a voice whispered inside of my head.

I made my way towards the exit of the cave and looked outside. The night smelled full of promises and danger. It smelled like the wild that had always sang in my veins. And now, I knew, I had become one truly like it. Civilization felt like a dream I had dreamed only a few weeks ago. Only now mattered. And the future. I bared my teeth. Revenge would taste like the coppery taste of spilled, mad blood. It would wash away the innocent blood that had already fallen. It would wash away the sin, but would it wash away the nightmare? Familiar blood on the walls. The soft moan of a body a few feet away from me. I remember wondering how he could still be alive while his limps were ripped off. Screams on the other side of the house. My father standing before me, urging me to leave. To leave behind all that I had known and all that I had loved. I could never undo the past. No matter how fervently I wished for it at night. No matter how long I stared at the meadow surrounding me when I was at Selene. No matter how hard I screamed inside my head. No matter how long I longed.

If I could have cried, I would. Instead I just raised my head and let the long howl of the wolf hear. Singing of my sorrows, my memories and the innocent loss. 

Rafe silently watched as the wolf cubs played among themselves. They looked happy and content to roll around the dirt with no worries of the future. He was jealous of them, really. He would’ve liked to roll around like them much in the same fashion. He just couldn’t.

Not because people told him that he wasn’t allowed to play, but more because playing was something only children did. And he might be six years old, but he felt a whole lot older. Playing was just not a priority in his world anymore. He stood on his four legs and prowled over to his father who was lying beside his mate in the grass. He tried to get his attention, but his father just ignored him. He gritted his teeth. Some things just never change.

He remembered how it was only a year ago, when his father hadn’t found his mate yet. When he had married his mother who had been loved and content. They had been a happy family. Then they were torn apart, because his father found his long lost mate. Forgot all about the other family he had created and abandoned them like trash in a trashcan.

Yet here he stood. Still wanting some kind of attention from the father he had loved so long ago, and now longed for so strongly. It was pathetic.

He turned around and ran inside the big house that was now his home. It didn’t feel like home, didn’t smell like home. It just smelled like wolf. And to him, it smelled like a family he would never again witness.

 That night, I went back to Selene. She laughed when she finally saw me again, it had been a long time. I hadn’t seen her in the time of the famine and the death of my little brother, so I missed her. Kind of. I smiled widely at her. “I changed,” I confessed to her. She raised one perfect eyebrow in the air, inquiring with that one move for further information. “I can’t really explain it, but I’ve never been so one with my wolf as I’m now.”

She nodded slowly, “I heard of such a thing before. It was with one of the first born. They felt so close to their wolf, so one with it, that they undertook a ritual to become even closer.”  She watched me intently, a flash of regret in those infinite eyes. I felt a flare of worry, “so? What happened?” I asked nervously, not feeling comfortable anymore.

“I don’t know what happened. He started to become really solitary. Always wandering off on his own. It happened more and more frequently, until one day he just didn’t come back. Nobody knew what happened. Even I couldn’t find a trace of him. It was like he just disappeared from this world. It was so peculiar.” Mild wonder showed in her eyes and for a moment, she seemed so far away. I wondered if anything could ever truly surprise her. She was so old.

Her eyes flickered to me, amused.  “It’s impolite to say that a lady is old, child.” I stuck my tongue out at her, “It’s also impolite to listen uninvited into somebody’s thoughts, granny.” We both started giggling at that. The atmosphere soon turned grim though. “You need to get that smart mouth of you in check, Shivani. If it had been anybody other than you I would not have been giggling,” Selene said seriously. I broke eye contact and looked at the ground, contemplating my next words. “But if I would have said nothing at all it would have been anybody other than me.” She gazed at me, her pupils dilated in the light of the blazing moon overhead. “That is true. But caution is never misplaced my dear. Do not forget who you are, but also never forgot who I am.”

With those ominous words, and the silent reminder of the oath I took, the meadow disappeared and I was once again back at the little cave with the wolf family I had come to love so dearly.

Mother wolf was there. She touched my snout with her own. “Eat,” she said, the voice in my mind. I froze. I stared at her. Did she just.. talk? “Hello?” I asked softly, probing with my mind. Mother wolf watched me. “So you have finally learned our language. You smell a little different. More like us.” She bit softly in my ear, reminding me that she was still older, still the alpha of this little group. I didn’t mind. “It is weird hearing you talk,” I confessed. She inclined her head. “Most of the shifters have lost the ability to speak with the wild. Though they have a wolf inside of them, their human minds are too strong.” I licked her nose when I heard the sadness in her tone. “Now we can be more of a family,” I whispered delighted. I turned to the little ones, the cubs, who had become my brothers and sister in all way but one. I touched my mind with all of them and they responded.

The squabble that followed was one that I enjoyed very much. I was connected with them all on a mental level. I could share my thoughts with them without a second thought. We talked about random things, like food and games. Mother wolf could tell us about the wolves she met outside the cave. The cubs were all very excited about that. “Do you guys have a name actually?” I asked suddenly. “Wolves have to earn their names,” Mother wolf told them. “I, for example, am called Daciana. It’s because once I killed a wolf hunter. He was a wicked man.” She sounded so proud. I agreed with her. Mindless kills were to be retaliated. Red glowing eyes flashed through my minds. Claws extended to me, dripping with the life blood of my mother. I shook the memory off.

“Why did he hunt wolves?” I asked. “Because he thought we were the evil creatures sent by the devil himself,” Daciana said tonelessly. I didn’t ask further.

“Anyway, I think it’s time that I take you with me more often now,” Daciana told me. “You need to learn how to hunt more efficiently.” I nodded. “No problem, I’ll be happy to learn.” Revenge looked me in the eye and mocked with me. I was not yet strong enough and it would take time. But I could live with that, as long as I knew that they would not live for long.