So, yeah. Life isn't that great right now. At least my plan half worked and I got home without being noticed by my parents. I also have my phone with me today, which is rare. Besides hitting me, taking away my phone is another punishment that my parents use. For less, er, severe situations, I suppose. It doesn't matter to me if I have my phone or not, because like Mason said, I don't even have any friends to text or call anyway, right? Well, I have one friend, Cassandra, who I call Cassie or Cass. She lives in the next state over. Cassie is the opposite of my neighborhood. She's got black, dyed hair, light freckles and a nose piercing. She curses like a sailor, yells, chews obnoxiously, puts her feet up on the table, doesn't care if her clothes are dirty or clean, she doesn't even care what she looks like half the time. I envy her freedom and carelessness. Since I'm thinking about her, I decide to text her.
You: Hey Cass. Just thinking about you. Missing you, too.
I set down my phone, not even two minutes later it buzzes.
Cassie: heyyy boo!! whatchu been up to? ❤❤
You: Oh, not much honestly. Church is a bore. Parents are annoying. You?
Cassie: not much either. how's that mason?? (;
My heart stops again, remembering what happened just a little bit ago. I had almost forgot about all of that, and now it hit me again like a ton of bricks. This makes me feel sick, but I know its not Cassie's fault. I've only said good things about him, because only good things happened with him. Now, it feels like the walls of our kingdom are crumbling.
You: Oh. Uh. Something happened today with him actually.
Cassie: ooo~!! tell!!
I take a deep breath, then start typing. I type for a long time, spilling out all of my feelings to Cass. I trust she'll support me. She always does.
Cassie: holy hell, babe. what a douche. what even happened with him?? he was like the opposite of that when i lived near u guys. so sorry u had to go through that. u should obvs dump him.
I considered agreeing with her, then I remembered the feeling i get when I'm with him. Pure bliss. But that doesn't erase what he did. It doesn't make up for it or defend it. I go to start typing again, then I get a notification.
1 new message from: Mason
Oh no. What racial or homophobic slur is he going to call me now? I delete the notification and continue talking to my real best friend.
You: Yeah, I don't know what happened. He's totally different than that. I didn't even know those words could come out of his mouth.
Cassie: wish i was there w/ u to beat his ass to a pulp. no one gonna talk to my boy like that.
You: Aw, Cass. Wish you were here too.
I click out of my conversation with Cassie, and look at the message Mason sent without clicking on it.
Mason: Hey.
Oh. Yeah. Just a simple "hey" is appropriate here. I feel my face get warm with anger, and I click on the message.
You: Oh, hi.
Mason: Look, I'm really sorry for what I said back there. You know that wasn't me. You know I would never use those words to describe you.
I squint at my screen in confusion.
You: So why did you then?
Mason: I don't know. Around those guys, I have to.
My face starts to get hotter and hotter.
You: What?
Mason: Like, they'll think I'm gay if I don't.
You: Mason, you are gay.
Mason: Yeah, but, they don't like gay people. If they found out about us, they wouldn't be my friends anymore.
I'm sweating with anger now. Tears are filling up my eyes so much that my vision is blurried, but I don't blink them away.
You: So, your reputation is more important than your relationship?
You: And if it meant saving your reputation, you would call your significant other multiple slurs?
Mason: That's not what I meant, Ant.
You: Really? Then what did you mean? Because it seems like that's exactly what you meant.
I turn off my phone and cover my face with my hands, falling back onto my bed. I hear my phone buzz, but I don't care at this point, even if it's Cass.
I get that we're all just kids and we make stupid decisions and think stupid things, but this was probably pushing it. Mason should know right from wrong, his morals should be in check all the time, his family owns a church. I take my hands away from my face to glance at the clock. 10. This day has just started, and its already turned out to be a nightmare. •
