"You can't keep on kissing strangers and pretending its him."
I am sitting on the roof of some familiar abandoned building, calling my best friend on the phone. It's late and dark, but I don't care. I want to hear her comforting voice.
"I'm not." I respond flatly.
It's been a few weeks since the incident with Mason happened, and I've been avoiding him ever since. At school, church, events, so on and so forth. I can spot his freckled cheeks and sweet laughter in any crowd, no matter how large. I hate myself for it. He obviously doesn't care about me, so I need to stop caring about him.
"Explain why you're hooking up with so many people recently then. I've seen the Instagram posts, babe. Are you just trying to make him jealous?"
"No. I just want to have fun, that's all. I don't care about him anymore." I lie.
"Then stop going out with girls. I know you don't enjoy it. Don't try to force yourself to be something you're not."
I'm silent for a moment, thinking about her words. She's right. "Alright, I'll try."
"Do or do not, there is no try."
We both giggle at her dumb Yoda impression. Cass always seems to know exactly how to lighten the mood.
"Isn't it late over there, babe? Go get some rest."
"Okay, I will."
"Alright, I'll talk to you tomorrow. Love ya, Ant."
"Night, love you, Cass."
I hang up, then start to stand up on the roof.
Even though most of the snow has melted away, its still icy, and before I know what's happening, my feet fall out in front of me, and I find myself falling over the edge. •
