Memories

Stars

I remember looking at the stars when I was little. The memories of being small and loving looking out the window could fill my mind for hours. Being the strange child I was, looking out the window was awful on sunny days. Though, clear nights or cloudy afternoons were heaven to me.

I remember going to the woods for the main purpose of looking at the stars. Every car ride at light. Every time I go outside in the dark. I look at the sky. Perhaps it was because I grew up always looking for light in the dark.

The moon became a part of the nightly ritual. It would be the first light I would see. Even on the darkest nights, with no face shown, and even clouds flooding the non existent light.  I would look towards the moon.

As strange as it seems, I can see more clear in the dark rather than light.

Perhaps it's just another strange thing that won't go away. Maybe even a trick in my mind. For now the stars are an infinite light that guides me through the thick and thin. A rhetorical question. A mystery. An ocean of lights that we can see from only mere gravity holding us down to a surface.

Even fake stars make me bright.

Glow in the dark stars planted on my ceiling and walls are as beautiful as the real ones. On cloudy nights, or when I cannot go outside or look outside, I look at the lazily placed stars placed in my room and all I can do is lay in awe.

I feel as though I could touch them. If alone, I sometimes even have my hand reaching out, foolishly trying to reach for the stars that glisten like a sea of lights.

Even now as I type this is the middle of the night, I glance outside the old window in hopes to see the moon.

With music busting through my headphones, I take a moment off of wattpad and stare into the abyss again. Only for a while.

I stare into the abyss again as I set my phone down from writing. All I can see are the little stars on my ceiling. A few more hours and i'll get ready for school.

I face-Timed X for a while because he was across the world from me and hoped that we could talk for a while. Luckily, he'll be coming back to our little town this summer.

After he had to go, I decided to look out my window and see if I could spot out the beautiful lights outside my window.

I knew I wasn't going to be able to sleep any time soon, so I decided to watch youtube videos to pass the time. I hoped that time would fly quickly, but I also didn't want it to move at all.

Still, my eyes lingered to the ceiling and the moonlight sparkling on my windows.

The stars have always been a memory since i was little.

I remember being too small to see out the window and staring at the sky. I remember having late night drives when I was little. All I could see- literally, was the stars and moon. The moon would chase our moving car as fast as it could. It would have a never ending race with us until we had to go home. Then, it would just wait. The moon and stars would wait for another night that we could play.

I remember growing up. I could see out the window now. I could see all the buildings that now obscure the stars from twinkling to my eyes. I could see the mountains and hills that protected my town. I could see everything. But at night, I would slouch down with my head on the window, and stare. It would be hard to look away. These exact stars that had died long ago still watched me grow up. The same stars that could still shine would watch over me like a guardian.