It's Up To You

Part 3

Opening her eyes slowly, so they could adjust to the sunlight in the room, Stevie sighed heavily. She frowned, not recognizing her surroundings. It looked nothing like her bedroom; it was plain and cold. Looking down at herself, she realized, she was wearing a... hospital gown? She was in a hospital. Why was no one with her? Why was she alone if something happened?

Minutes later, the door opened and in came Lindsey. Neither said anything until he approached the bedside and took a seat. "How are you feeling?"

"Like shit." 

Lindsey nodded. "That's to be expected."

"Why are you here?" Stevie asked, her voice sounding weak.

"I've been here for hours. The question is, where is your husband? Although, I guess, what's important is that at least one of us cares enough to be here."

Stevie ignored it, not wanting to talk about Kim. "What happened to me? Did I..."

"You overdosed, Stevie, what else do you think happened to you? Was it some sick attempt at getting me in the same room with you? You had to know I'd come."

"No..." She shook her head, looking at him. "Of course not. I just... after our fight in the studio, I sort of lost control. Then I called you and you didn't want to talk to me, saying I should accept the reality, accept my future without you. It was painful. Too painful. I... finished off everything I had and..." She teared up, turning her head to face the other way, feeling ashamed.

"That's really selfish of you." Lindsey said, however, he didn't sound mad, he was just very upset. "It's easy for you. You do too much of that shit and you're gone. What about those, who you leave behind? Did you even think of your parents? Your friends? Matthew?... Me? Did you stop for a minute and think how badly it would hurt us, losing you?" Her silence was the answer Lindsey has asked for. "You have a problem, Stevie. A very serious and dangerous problem."

"I can't deal with things in my life any other way." Was her lame reply.

"Yes, you can, but you don't want to. How many times I alone have asked you to get help? The answer is, too many. We might not be on the best terms, we might... hate each other, but I still care about you a great deal. You're not that same woman I knew ten years ago. You've complete changed in every way and for the worse. You're not that beautiful, carefree soul you used to be."

A steady stream of tears rolled down her face, as Stevie listened, having nothing to say back. She couldn't justify her actions, so she didn't try to.

"You dug yourself into this whole, Stevie. You. I can't pretend I've never done cocaine, because that would be a lie, but I somehow knew when to stop, which you don't. You take everything to the absolute limit. This isn't some game, Stevie, this is your life. You say that you don't know how else to deal with things, but everything happens, because of the way you want to. Your own decisions led you to this point." Shifting in his seat, Lindsey hesitated, thinking if he should open that particular can of worms yet again. "We've talked about this countless times already, but Stevie... Marrying Kim, just because you two were grieving? That's the most stupid thing you have ever done. Yet, for some reason, your marriage has lasted for two years. You say how horrible you feel being with him, how you don't even want to be with him, which results in you doing mountains of coke. Wouldn't it just be easier to leave?"

"I can't, Lindsey, you know that. I made a promise to Robin that I would take care of her son. I have to."

"You didn't need to marry Kim for that." Closing his eyes for a moment, Lindsey exhaled heavily, knowing his next words would probably get her to become defensive. "Can you honestly tell me that you are taking care of that boy in the state you are in?"

Stevie was silent for minute, then she shook her head.

"Then what are you doing, Stevie?" Lindsey asked, grasping her hand with his. 

She didn't have anything to say to that either. Lindsey stopped talking as well, as he just sat by her bedside, soothing his thumb over the back of her hand.

"There's something else I have to tell you." Lindsey spoke up after a while, having mustered up the courage. "I spoke to the doctor when I got here. He didn't really want to talk at first, but I begged him to fill me in on your condition and..."

Stevie was worried, her eyebrows creased as she held her breath for what he was about to say.

"You were nine weeks pregnant."

She gasped, bringing a hand up to her mouth, shutting her eyes. From her reaction, Lindsey understood that she didn't know. 

"I... was?" She whispered, receiving a nod.

"I'm so sorry."

Stevie was crying again, holding onto Lindsey's hand tightly, as he stood up to hover above her, stroking her hair, pressing kisses to her forehead. He didn't know what else to do or what to say, so he continued comforting her, for how long he wasn't sure.

"I need help." She said eventually.