It's Up To You

Part 13

Peeking through the ajar door to the guest room, Lindsey saw Stevie laying next to Matthew, who was probably asleep for a while now, but she was still singing softly, combing his hair with her fingers. Every night for the past five days Lindsey had been walking in on this. Since he hadn't been around Stevie and, ahem, her family that much, he didn't know the two had such a strong bond between them. Occasionally, Lindsey allowed himself to wonder what it'd be like if they had children together. Perfect, it would be absolutely perfect. Ultimately, that was what he wanted the most. Sure, being a worldwide known rockstar was great, but more than anything, Lindsey wished to have a family with the only woman he had truly ever loved. 

When Stevie noticed Lindsey standing by the door, she stopped singing and carefully, not to disturb Matthew, got out of bed. Leaving the bedside lamp on, she walked out of the room, taking Lindsey's hand he was holding out for her.

"That's so beautiful." Lindsey whispered, guiding them to the master bedroom.

"You've heard me sing Crystal about a thousand times, Linds." Stevie smiled at his compliment.

"No, not that." Lindsey shook his head. "Well, your singing is beautiful too, but I meant, seeing you with a child is just... it takes my breath away."

"Oh." Stevie let go of his hand, walking over to the window, just so there was some space between them.

"Oh? That's all?" Lindsey asked, slightly confused, as he sat down on the bed. Stevie didn't reply for a long time and it was beginning to worry him. Standing up on his feet again, Lindsey approached Stevie from behind, gently gripping her shoulders to turn her around. "Baby? Why are you crying, sweetheart?"

She lowered her eyes, hugging herself around the middle. "You want children. Of your own." She added.

"Well, of course. Don't you?"

Taking in a deep breath, Stevie then exhaled, unsure if she should bring it up. Maybe, it was all in her head. "I'm sure you don't want to hear about it, but... I've been with other men, obviously. Most of the time, I wasn't sober, I was high as a kite and..."

"You didn't use protection." He finished her thought. 

"That's right and after the abortion Don forced me into, I haven't gotten pregnant again until I did. Years later. Then we had that massive argument, you told us you're quitting the band, I dealt with it the only way I know how and... and miscarried. Maybe I'm just not capable of having a baby of my own." She locked their eyes and the look in hers, broke Lindsey's heart. 

Lacing his fingers through hers again, Lindsey tugged at Stevie's hand, her chest pressed against his, as he hugged her, rubbing her back up and down in hopes to comfort her. "Maybe it wasn't meant to happen yet. Have you seen a doctor about it?"

"No. I'm too scared." Stevie admitted, her arms now tightly wrapped around Lindsey. "I can't imagine not being able to give you something you want with all of your heart."

"Don't focus on that, Steph. I know you, I know how that mind of yours works. So, please, don't start pushing me away because of that, please." He repeated. "You're right, having children with you is something I think about a lot, but if it doesn't happen, then it doesn't happen. I'm over the moon to have you back in my life again, Stephanie. That what matters the most to me."

"Don't say that if you don't mean it..."

Touching the side of her face, he tilted her chin up. "Look at me, Steph. I'm an open book to you, I've always have been. I'm not lying to you right now."

Studying him for a minute, Stevie then smiled a little. She moved closer, kissing his lips, lingering for a moment, feeling his fingers in her hair, causing her to moan. 

"God... I miss you so much." Lindsey said, when he pulled back, placing small kisses down her neck. 

"I miss you too." Stevie echoed, cocking her head to one side, her breathing now heavier. "Mm, Linds..."

The recent events came flooding back, forcing Lindsey to stop. He wasn't like Kim, he would never take Stevie against her will. "Is this what you want? You can say no to me."

"I know I can, but I can't say no to you right now." She said, capturing his lips again, reaching for the hem of his t-shirt, breaking the kiss to pull it over his head. 

They hadn't been together intimately for longer than either of the two liked, so there wasn't anything romantic about it, as they undressed each other in turns, all the while hungrily making out like horny teenagers. 

Gently laying her down on the bed, he quickly joined her, making himself comfortable between her legs, hovering above her. "You're the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes on, Steph, I swear."

Smiling shyly, instead of a verbal reply, she brought her hands up to his face, pulling him down for another kiss. His one hand traveled in between them, his fingers touching her as she moaned, lifting her hips just a little, begging for his touch. Taking himself in one hand he coated his member with her arousal, before easily entering her. They simultaneously groaned, finally joined as one again. He remained still until she wrapped her legs around him, urging him to start moving. He was thrusting his hips fast, maybe even a little rough, but he had missed her and he knew she felt the same. It didn't take very long for them to reach the peak, both panting, trying to catch their breath, as hands still lazily explored, lips pressing against the other's skin, wherever they could reach. 

They had plenty of time for love making. They both needed that release. 

"I can't put it into words, how much I love you, Stevie." Lindsey said, now laying on his side, Stevie mirroring him, as they held hands, nothing covering their naked bodies. "We've been through so much and it amazes me that we always find our way back to each other. What you and I have, it's... it's special." 

Smiling, she nodded, scooting a little closer. "And I wouldn't want to have it with anyone else. You are my past, my present and my future, Lindsey. You're all I want." 

He teared up, suddenly a wave of emotions crashing over him, as he reached out for her, holding her close against him. Stevie was taken aback by his reaction for a moment. Lindsey had been doing all the comforting lately, it was her turn now, so she turned on her back, his head on her chest, his arm across her waist, her fingers in his curls, her soft voice filling the silence of the night.