PJO/ HOO Oneshots of Randomness

Don't give the son of Hades vitamins... ((part one))

((WARNING: There are a few swear words....))

--Percy--

I thought it would be a normal day. I was way, way, WAY wrong.

“HELLO MA PEEPS!!!!!! THE KING HAS ARRIVED!!!!!!" every camper in the dining pavilion turned to the entrance to see the image that will give  everyone nightmares. Nico di Angelo.

Smiling like the Cheshire Cat.

This could not be good.

“YOU ALL ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!!! Although I would only date, at the most, three of you. Just saying." Nico stated, waltzing in to my table. “I love your facial grapes. They're so PRETTY!!!!!"

I stared at him in confusion. “You mean my eyes???"

“YEAH THOSE!!!!!" He wrapped an arm around me, sitting down next to me. "GODS, PERCY YOUR A GENIUS, YOUR LIKE SMARTER THAN ATHENA AND EVEN GOOGLE!!!!!" Everyone gasped at the comment and most of the Athena kids had to be held back by the ALL of the Ares, Apollo, and Demeter campers.

“YOUR LIKE THE DOCTOR!!!! ILL BE YOUR RIVER!!!! ANNIE CAN BE ROSE!!! We should so cosplay later. In every way."

“Um..... What does that even-"

“Hold that thought sweetie." Nico ordered, standing on the table. “YO SHUT YOUR CAKE HOLES I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!!!!" Everyone looked to the son of Hades like he just turned into a Hermes camper. “A FEW THINGS. First, I legally change my name to Death the Kid. Why? BECAUSE I CAN SO DON'T QUESTION ME!!!!!"

Who gave this kid drugs???

“Nico, did you have any sugar-"

“SHUT UP HAZEL I'M SPEAKING!!!!!" Nico threw one of my cinnamon buns at Hazel. She cried, running to Frank, sobbing while eating a pancake. “Third, I declare myself the hottest demigod alive. You all must deal with this as well."

“OH HELL NO DEAD BOY!!!!" Leo yelled, getting on his table. “I'M the hottest demigod alive. In both ways!!!"  He declared, flaming on.

“Fourthly, I claim Leo and Piper as my weapons. YOU CAN'T HAVE THEM. THEY MINE. THEY ARE MY LIZ AND PATTY SO Y'ALL GOTTA LIVE WITH THAT."

Frank raised his hand. “You skipped the second announcement."

“Thank you, Ditto."

“What did you just-"

“PERCY IS MINE. I. CALL. DIBS." Nico yelled, directing every word to Annabeth. Her face was the definition of anger as she stood up, getting a knife from one of the tables.

“HE'S MY BOYFRIEND-"

“Well TOO BAD BITCH!!!" Nico retorted, jumping down. “HE'S THE DOCTOR TO MY RIVER SO BACK UP ROSE!!!! GO BACK TO TENTOO!!!!" Nico snapped in a z-formation before walking to the Aphrodite and Hephestus tables, grabbing Leo and Piper by the collars and began dragging them out.

Again, WHO GAVE HIM DRUGS?!?!?!

“B-B-BUT MY WAFFLES!!!!!!" Piper screamed, trying yo get loose if Nico's grip.

“I'M HOTTER THAN YOU, DI ANGELO, EVEN YOU WANT ME!!!!  Leo yelled, cursing at the son of the underworld. “And if I'm invited to the cosplay, I call Jack."

“Liz, Patty, we need you two to be matching YOU TWO AREN'T SYMMETRICAL!!!!!" Nico hollered, looking to them but stopping , screaming in terror. “WHY IS THERE A GIGANTIC PINK ROBOT BUNNY EATING PIKACHU?!?!?!?!" He pointed to the Zues table where Jason was just eating a breakfast burrito. At the sound of 'Pikachu', he looked up.

“Whmiat?!?!?!" He asked through a mouthful of food, looking around for the 'pink robot bunny' that Nico 'saw'.

“NUMBA THREE, WE NEED BACK UP!!!!!" Nico exclaimed, waving his hands in the air like he was swatting away flies, throwing a bacon strip at Drew. “THE ALIENS ARE ON TO US!!!!"

“What the-"

“COME MY PEASANTS!!!!!" Nico shouted, dragging Leo and Piper to his cabin.

May the gods help them.

--Unknown PoV--

I laughed as I looked through the computer, seeing the havoc I was causing. I filled up another bottle of the vitamins, pondering who to give it to next. Leo and Piper will get some from Nico.... What about Reyna??? Or Thalia??? Or the Egyptians, perhaps??? So many possibilities... And hey, maybe my friend in Brooklyn could get me some of that fairy drugs, just to kick things up.

I opened the webpage and turned on the video chat. Once it loaded, four girls were sitting around the computer.

“Mission was a success, Gamble." The main one said.

“I see. I have another task. You each have a job. Shann-won will go bring the goods to the hunters. Kay-Kay will go bring a bottle to Reyna. Fez goes to Brooklyn to get some of the special addition. Jacket will go to the Nome. Everyone clear?"

“Yep." They said in unison.

“This will be the test run ever." I stated.

---Time lapse---

--Nico--

I woke up feeling like a sumo wrestler sat on my head.

I looked around, seeing the darkness of my cabin. I turned so I was facing up, seeing Leo looking down at me with a creepy smile, his left eye twitching.

“Hellloooooooo." He said, his voice creepy, getting out a pocket knife. I backed away, falling of the bed I was on.

“Leo?! Are you ok?!?!" I asked.

“PERFECT!!!!" He screamed, laughing like a possesed Pegasus. I backed away again, making sure not to make any sudden movements. Suddenly, Leo stopped laughing, his head tilting to the side. “Why are you moving away from me???" His voice sounded demonic.

“Leo, did you have any drugs???" I asked, legitimately concerned for his health and sanity. I looked around for any thing to protect myself with. All I found was a pair of jeans that I knew we're not mine or Leo's.  Finding nothing else, I looked back to Leo, who moved and was a foot away from me.

“Don't blink, di Angelo." He stated, looking me dead in the eyes. “Don't. Mother. Effing. Blink."

“Did you have the eggnog??? It's too early for that, Leo. Only when the crazy Dionysus stalking nymphs come into town..." I said, trying to calm both of us down, backing up until my back hit the door that lead to my freedom from the Latino that was mentally unstable.

“Niiicccooooo." Leo called, his head jerking to my direction, his voice like a little evil kid from those horror movies that ask if you 'Want to play' and kill you in gorey ways. “NIIICCCOOOOO!!!!!!!"

“Uh, L-Leo, calm d-down." I stuttered, seeing the wicked glint in his eyes as he held the knife. I began looking for any way to get my weapon, which was a few feet away. I scooted over to my sword, hearing shuffling that wasn't me. I looked forward to see Leo an inch from my face.

Oh gods.

_____________

*dramatic announcer voice* WHAT WILL BECOME OF OUR UNSTABLE HEROES?!?!?! WILL NICO DIE?!?!?!?! WHY IS LEO NOW CUCKOO?!?!?! WHERE'S PIPER?!?!?! WHO WERE THE MYSTERY GUYS?!?!?! WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT?!?!?!

FIND OUT IN THE NEXT PART OF "Don't give the son of Hades vitamins... PART TWO." COMING SOON!!!!!!

((A/N: RANDOM ONESHOTS!!!! Yep. So I do take requests, so if any one has an idea, comment!!!!!!! Also I need a cover.... can anyone help me out???

Fez.

Frozen.

FUTTERWAKEN!!!!!

Fairfaren, readers.))