Shipwrecked (Choose Your Own Adventure)

Thirty-One

"Screw it, lads," you say, furiously rubbing the lamp. ''We're going home right now!"

Ringo wipes his brow with a handkerchief, looking utterly relieved.

"Thank goodness!" says John.

"I'll say!" says Paul. "My hair would never be able to handle this level of humidity."

"This is a dangerous place," George says, cradling Serenity in his arms. "Let's go home before we get into any more danger!"

"Aye, aye, captains," you reply. "Right... I wish that we were all off this island and back home in England!"

There's a big poof of smoke, and the beach, the ocean, the jungle, everything suddenly fades away. Your vision is blurry for several seconds, but it soon comes into focus.

And...

You're still on the island?

How the hell does that work?

"What the heck?" you say, inspecting the lamp from all angles. ''Why didn't it work?"

"No clue," says John, "but it's a real pain in the bum, isn't it?"

"I'll say!" says Paul. "We're stranded here on a desert island with no food, no shelter, and no hair products! All we have is each other and a worthless piece of garbage that has the nerve to call itself a magic lamp!"

"Hey, calm down, Paulie," says George, gentle patting Paul's shoulder. "It's not all that bad."

"Oh yeah?" says Paul. "How is it not all that bad, pray tell?"

"Serenity's having a whale of a time!" George points to his little daughter, who is crawling around and tracing lines in the sand with her tiny fingers.

"For God's sake, George!" Paul cries. ''Would you stop talking about your baby for two seconds?! Would it kill you?!"

George scowls but doesn't say anything.

"Back to the issue," you say, "how are we going to get off of the island?"

"We could build a boat out of that duct tape we rescued from the boat!" Ringo suggests.

"Do you know how to make a boat out of duct tape, Ringo?" John asks, eyebrows raised.

Ringo shuffles his feet. "No..."

"Neither do we," says John. ''I don't know about you, but I say we swim for it."

"Swim all the way back to England?!" you cry. "We can't do that! You're crazy!"

"Hey lads!'' George pipes up. "Look!"

Paul sighs. "George, for the last time, I'm not interested in what your baby is doing!"

"No, no!" says George. He's pointing at something far off on the horizon. "Look! It's coming towards us!"

Everyone looks and realises that George is right. There is something coming towards the island! It appears to be some sort of flying object.

"Maybe it's a rescue helicopter!" you say excitedly. "Come on, guys! Make as much noise as you possibly can!"

You and all four lads start jumping around, shrieking, yelling, and generally making an unholy racket. The helicopter is coming closer but doesn't appear to notice you. It's going to fly away if you don't think of something soon!

Out of the corner of your eye, you see baby Serenity crawl over to John. She appears to be searching through the pockets of his jacket  (which he's dropped on the ground). She comes up clutching a box of matches and a handful of John's smoke flares. You immediately start to panic; Serenity is only a baby - she shouldn't have either of those things!

You rush over to try and snatch them away from her, but Serenity crawls away faster than you can run! She makes her way a bit further up the beach and plants the smoke flares in the sand. Then, to your utter horror and disbelief, she strikes a match and holds it up to the flares' fuses!

"Serenity!" you scream, practically diving to her rescue. "Stop!"

You snatch her up mere seconds before the flares go off. They spring to life, letting out huge billowing clouds of purple smoke. You clutch Serenity close to your chest and watch the smoke in awe... then your mind snaps back to reality.

''Serenity Winifred Harrison!" you shriek. "What in the name of God do you think you were doing?! Don't you know smoke flares are extremely dangerous?!"

"Don't you dare tell at her like that!" George bellows, rushing over and snatching his precious baby girl back. He gives her a big kiss on her forehead. "Poor darling... she didn't know what she was doing."

"Um... I think she did," says Ringo. He points at the sand.

Everyone looks - and your mouth falls open in disbelief. What you all thought was just meaningless patterns in the sand is actually a written message! Serenity has spelled out "HELP!" in huge capital letters!

"I didn't know she could spell," you say, still in awe.

"I didn't either,'' says George. He looks at Serenity's smug little face. "You're a clever girl, all right."

"Buh!" says Serenity, a word which here means "I've always thought so".

"Look! Look!" Paul cries, jumping around as if his feet are on fire. "The helicopter is coming into land!"

"Quick! Scatter!" John yells.

Everyone including yourself dashes for cover as the helicopter neatly parks itself on the sandy shore. Its blades stop spinning. The roaring of the engine ceases into silence. The side door pops open and a person in a jumpsuit, helmet, and dark glasses jumps out.

"Oh thank the Lord!" John cries, practically in tears. "We're saved!"

''Quit crying, Johnny. It's not very becoming," says the helicopter pilot.

"Excuse me?" says John. "Just who do you think -"

The pilot laughs and pulls off their glasses and helmet. You nearly topple over with shock when you see who it is. Your rescuer is one other than John's beautiful, blonde-haired wife, Cynthia!

"Hello, lads!" Cynthia says, grinning. She notices you. "Oh, and hello there, lovely lady!"

"Cynthia!" John says, sounding slightly cross. "What are you doing here? How did you find us?"

"I was getting a bit nervous about you lot going on a cruise by yourselves," Cynthia explains, "and when you didn't return after the three hours were up... well, I became concerned."

"Yeah, but how did you find us?" you ask.

''And since when do you know how to pilot a helicopter?!" John cries.

Cynthia winks. "There's a few things you don't know about me, Johnny, baby. Now, come on! Pile in and let's get you back home."

You and The Beatles climb into the helicopter, relieved to finally get off of this godforsaken land of misery. While you're up in the sky, you can't resist looking down at the island.

There's Serenity's message written in the sand. The smoke flares are still going off. But aside from that you're unsure of how Cynthia could have ever located you and the boys.

You never do find out how the feat was accomplished, but that doesn't really matter now.

Only one thing's for certain.

You're never going on another cruise for as long as you live - and that's the truth!

THE END
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