Until I Met The World

Chapter 7

It feels nice to take deep breathes in the privacy of my own car. Checking my phone, I see no recent calls or texts from anyone and I'm actually really starting to get worried about Sebastian. No matter what we go through, he has never not talked to me for more than 12 hours even if to just say goodnight.

And I know I should call Ariana but she's the one who promised to call me once she felt better and she hasn't so I shouldn't bother her.. also, I'm not really sure how to tell her I just ran into her one night stand while he came to help sell me weed. Ariana is less judgmental about what I do in my free time so that's not a problem but if I were to tell her what just happened, then I'd have to tell her I smoke. The only reason I've kept it my own little secret is just precautions incase she ever got the urge to tell Bash.

I actually really miss him just thinking about him being worried about my well-being and before I know it, I'm calling him with my phone to my ear.

Using one hand to hold my phone and the other hand to excessively tap on my steering wheel, I listen to the phone ring for what feels like 2 minutes before it finally reaches the voicemail. Ending the call because I never make voicemails unless it is a huge emergency, I start to really get worried.

If Ariana doesn't call me in the next hour, I'm calling her to see if she knows anything. Maybe he really is still mad. Ariana has had enough time sobering up and I can't wait any longer to figure this out but me, being the good friend I am will wait that extra hour.

Shooting him a text, I ask how he's doing and to call me asap.

The drive back feels shorter than usual but maybe that's because I'm so into my own thoughts to pay attention to the petty things like driving or time. I've got to go smoke and I actually have no idea where I can even go.

I give up on trying to figure out where I should and decide I'm just going to smoke in my car. Very unsafe but I couldn't care less at this point. I feel so tense and annoyed, I need the slightly relaxed feeling I get from it. And maybe then I could think straight.

Pulling into Meadow Falls which is closest to me and, to be honest, the best place I could've thought to smoke at. It's just a meadow but there's a dock above a lake. I'm starting to think I have a thing with lakes.

But I will only be in eye view of the dock and lake as I park in a parking spot and roll down my windows just a little bit. Grabbing my glass pipe and lighter, I fill it up and turn the mix Bash made up. I burn myself lighting the hit I was about to inhale but I don't mind.

Pain is only temporary. Inhaling sharply, I let the familiar burn fill my lungs and relax my shoulders. The combination of cold from the a/c is complimented with the warmth the burn brings to me and I close my eyes, resting my head on my seat.

"I am so glad I have you" I recall Sebastian saying out loud at the lake last night. But if he really was glad to have me then he wouldn't be ignoring me right now. Nothing lasts forever so why do I let myself get close to people? They always leave and I'm also hurt. I will never love anyone from this day forward. There is no point.

With the glass pipe to my mouth, I lift my lighter to the bowl of the pipe and watch as the green of the weed burns red from the fire and I inhale again. I decide I can love my medication but not people, never people.

I shouldn't but I let myself drift off into my mind and thoughts. Sebastian can't really hate me for last night, could he? I was just mad he wasn't looking for Ariana... I think. Either way, I wasn't too hard on him... I think.

"DAMMIT" I curse hitting my steering wheel then resting my head on it. After about a minute, I go to take another hit just as my phone starts vibrating. I turn the music down, place my glass pipe on the passenger seat, then look to see who is calling.