Saudade | ✓

reclaiming

I squinted, waking up to the sun's glare covering most of my view. I just had the most relaxing sleep of my life. I smile, closing my eyes and snuggling to the warmth of the man beside me.

Sated, lulled into oblivion, thoroughly ravished.

This man must have been good because I feel so languid my reflexes may have been muted.

I tiled my head to the side and as I switched between the space between sleep and reality, I realized a hand was stroking my arm. A familiar muscled arm. My throat went dry. Wait a minute.

Back up. Who did I sleep with last night?

I flipped over and true to my suspicion, I was lying under his arm, positioned on the edge of his body. My hand was on his chest and our limbs tangled. The warmth emanating from his skin, and the feel of his body reminded me that this was real.That I had indeed slept with Dean.

Oh god. Not my smartest move.

How could I be so stupid? God. I took several calming breaths, pinching my eyes shut. When I open them it's only then I realized that he's awake, and had been for some time it looked like it. Amusement danced in his those whiskey eyes as he took in my expression. Amusement which turned into softness when I involuntarily let out a yawn.

"Hi," he murmured. "Good morning."

"Morning," I croaked out.

He stared at me through his long lashes, drinking me in, a soft smile curving on his lips. "Tell me this is real."

I felt my cheeks heat, my chest pinching. "Apparently it is," I blurted out.

He laughed, a soft rumble, exposing his dimples."Yes, definitely."

He was still staring at me, smiling. Jesus, this was getting awkward. I didn't know what to say. I couldn't believe I just slept with the very devil himself.

It's like words have been stolen from my throat.

I swallowed and said the first thing I could get out of my mind. "Do you have any spare toothbrush?"

He nodded, looking amused at my reaction. "Over the master bath. The essentials are complete."

"I'm gonna go take a shower," I muttered.He raised a teasing brow.

"Don't you want to cuddle a little bit first?"I gave him my deepest glare, and he laughed again—-the sound echoing in the room.

I had showered as if I could remove every trace of him from my body. Every kiss, every touch. My chest ached a bit about how bittersweet it was. I guess last night was enough of a closure as it is. He reminded me again that no one else could give me the feeling he gave me last night. No one else could take me to a certain type of high that he could. No one could make me feel like the edges around us melted and blurred into nothingness. Not even Andrew.

I bit my lip. It wasn't only sex. It was love, friendship and tenderness. I allowed myself to trust him completely last night, if but for a moment.

I took a deep breath, realizing I made the right decision. Now I can completely let him out of my system. Goodbye sex was just what the two of us needed. Deciding that was true, the heaviness in my chest lightened.

I took an hour just getting ready. If I was going to do a confrontation, it sure as hell wouldn't be with bad breath and sex hair. It would be with red lipstick that made me look put together. Besides, when I went out of the shower, Dean wasn't in the bedroom anymore. Huh. Weird. I felt a sigh of relief escape me.

I nearly bolted out of the house in joy and relief, but it was short lived when as I passed by the kitchen and heard a voice.

"Great, you're done," Dean said a little too brightly. "Let's have breakfast."