Saudade | ✓

endings

JANUARY 1963.

Instead of a week, I'd extended to two. Thanks to a stomach virus which conveniently made its entrance on the day of my flight which I had to cancel, I was still ensconced in an old bed and breakfast in Positano.

Everything had hurt. I was too tired, and I vomited all the time. I wanted to vomit any food in front of me.

"I feel like death," I muttered.

Lily lifted my arm and placed a thermometer. "What did you eat anyway?"

"Those oysters you told me were questionable."

Lily shook her head. "Don't say I told you so, Annie. I know you're heart broken and all, but you didn't have to throw food hygiene out the window."

"Yeah yeah," I mumbled.

"Aren't you glad i'm here?" She smiled.

Despite everything, that put a smile on my face. "Ofcourse I am. Haven't seen you in three weeks."

She wrinkled her nose. "You've been way too busy with your friends and your Dean problems."

"I'm sorry," I apologised raspily. My throat felt so dry.

Her face softened. "That's alright. I'm just happy to finally see my sister again. Just not in this state."

"Me too, Lil. I'd have love to show you around. It's prettier than the pictures we pore over during highschool."

"That's alright." She smiled. "Another time."

She took the thermometer and wrinkled her brow. "Well your temperature's a little high but you don't have a fever. Just about borderline."

"Well, that's good right?"

She looked at me, her face becoming serious. "When's the last time you had her period?"

I paled. "Why are you asking me that? I can't be pregnant, can I? I just have the stomach flu."

"Annie," she said softly. "Just answer me."

I shut my eyes. "I dunno. Two months ago, I think."

My eyes opened. "It might just be due to hormonal imbalance. That happens to me when i'm stressed."

"Well there's only one way to know," Lily said gently.

•••

I couldn't breathe as the two pink lines appeared in front of my eyes.

I was pregnant.

I was twenty two and pregnant. I've barely reached the pinnacle of my career, barely scraped the placed I wanted to travel the world. .. and I was pregnant.

Shock filled me. My heart pounded on my chest.

"Let me see," Lily said, grabbing the stick. "Oh god, Annie. Congratulations. You've always wanted a family, didn't you?"

My throat was dry. "Not this early."

When she saw the look on my face; she could sense something was wrong. Worriedly, she told me, "Let's go to the doctor and have it confirmed."

I nodded. "We'll set an appointment today."

"I'm on it," she said, quickly. "Do you want me to call Dean? He's been calling you non-stop. Share to him the news."