It's one in the morning, and I'm staring blankly at a wall while soothing jazz music echoed in my ears. I can't sleep, not without knowing what I did wrong, what I did to make Jasper avoid me. He was so remote when he noticed me, but I saw him laughing happily with his brothers in the parking lot after school as they piled into that big guy's Jeep. He was secluded in a world of his own, a world only reserved for that group of siblings.
"Hey." Bella's voice interrupts my listless thinking, and I glance up to see her standing in the doorway.
"Hey," I greet, quickly removing my earbuds. "What's up?"
"Can't sleep," she sighs, "The wind around the house is keeping me awake. What about you? Why aren't you sleeping?"
"I don't know," I say tiredly, "I just want to understand why Jasper changed so quickly around me. One moment I'm a delicate butterfly in his eyes, the next I'm nothing but a disgusting worm. It's not everyday you meet one of the most isolated people at school and he turns out to be nice, but on the other hand, it's pretty common to be ignored by someone you thought was your friend."
"Sorry," Bella mumbles, and I know she doesn't know what else to say again. She suggests, "You could ask him about it tomorrow."
"I could, like you should with Edward." She frowns and looks at her socks, hiding her face.
"Yeah." she utters solemnly. Silently, she sits on the corner of my bed next to me. "May I?" she asks, pointing to my earbuds.
"Sure." I reply, and we spend the rest of the night staring at the walls, running possible scenarios and lines through our heads, and listening to blues, swing, and everything in between. When the alarm goes off, I groan and shut it off, it's shrill ringing hurting my ears after the all nighter. Bella and I sluggishly get ready, shuffling papers into already disorganized backpacks, jerking our arms back and forth robotically as we brush our teeth, and shoving small amounts of food down our throats without much chewing.
The second day is more unbearable than the first. Bella waits for the Cullens, and they show up without Edward, who she's anxious to confront. Stalking off angrily to first period, she deserts me in the quad, leaving me to deal with infatuated Mike and envious Jessica. I'm forced to engage in boring small talk about my past in San Francisco and Olympia when the quartet comes within ten feet of us. I stare at Jasper, who focuses on something in front of him instead of making eye contact. However, his jaw clenches tightly as he walks past me, a sign of gritted teeth and aggravation. While he doesn't look at me, his girlfriend Alice does. Her eyes drill holes into me, trying to decipher how I'm feeling. She gives me a tiny smile, and I turn away uncomfortably. I can't tell if she's mocking me or not, but either way, her expression warns me to stay away from her and Jasper. She's dangerous, despite her child-like appearance and tiny frame. When I peer back at them, the group is already splitting into different directions for class. Alice places her hand on Jasper's arm as they head to the school buildings in the southern part of the campus. I trail behind, keeping my eyes on the ground, downcast, instead of the couple.
Mike nudges me to pay attention to him, and I reluctantly do so. He chatters on and on, unbothered by my low spirits. I sneak a peak at the two and see Alice heading for the stairs as Jasper bids her a 'see you later.'
"So, we still good for Saturday?" Mike asks.
"Huh? Oh yeah," I mumble.
"Do you not want to go?" he persists.
"No, I do..." My answer leaves him unconvinced, but he doesn't press on and leaves for his own class. Alone at last, I trail behind Jasper, watching him enter our classroom. I hesitate outside before entering, trying to handle my nerves. I walk down the aisle towards the seat, using everything in me to refrain from confront him right then and there. We lock gazes, and his immediately hardens. I flinch at the sight of his, now black, eyes. It's the look of a hunter, animalistic, intense, and concentrated, fueled by hostility, loathing, malice, and resentment. I feel it all, what is brewing inside of him, the torrent of emotions overwhelming logic and politeness.
I have never felt been so terrified in my life. I feel him scrutinizing me as I sit down, viewing me sideways as his back leans against the arm of his desk. His stare nearly petrifies me, and my hands start shaking as I take out a pencil and notebook. He swivels forward at the bell, but I am still paralyzed with fright. I anxiously drum my fingers on my paper for the rest of the period, guaranteeing a cramped hand later on. When the bell rings, I immediately dash out to evade Jasper's piercing glare and prevent myself from asking him the few burning questions I have. Mike sees me and hurries to be by my side, but I scurry off to Trig before he can even reach me. I'm relieved that I don't share any other classes with Jasper and have to suffer more cold silence and hatred. Sighing, I take my seat and mess around with my phone.
"You're Lila, right?" A bright and cheerful voice calls my attention.
"Oh ye-" I look up to see Alice, all smiles and happiness, and my voice fades away.
"Is something wrong?" Her heads tilts to the side, ever so innocently.
"No!" I almost yell. "N-nothing's the problem," I stutter, quieter this time.
"I'm Alice," she introduces herself and beams a toothy smile so bright and wide it's intimidating.
"Nice to meet you?" My voice fluctuates out of nervousness, making it sound like a question. Alice laughs at my demeanor.
"Relax, I don't bite." She smiles again, making me feel uneasy.
"Right..."
"Anyway, I just wanted to say hi! You seem really nice, and we should be friends!" She exclaims and grabs my hand excitedly. I shy away from her touch, which is just as icy as Jasper's. "Sorry," she frowns, "I shouldn't have done that."
"It's fine," I assure her. "You're just really cold."
"Yeah? It's a health thing. Poor circulation is what Carlisle says it is." She brushes the question off, and drives the conversation away from herself. "So, Lila, how do you like Forks? Pretty dismal for a city girl like yourself."
"It's okay," I reply. "It's pretty good for a small town. I made some friends in La Push, and here, of course." I decide to stay silent about the whole 'I ran into your boyfriend in the woods and he was really cool' since she could get jealous really easily, and I don't want to be on Alice's bad side.
To my dismay, she brings it up without a second thought. "So I heard you met Jasper recently." Curiosity flashes in her eyes for a moment, which is quickly replaced by expectancy.
"Um, yeah. We talked for a while." I give a vague answer, hoping that'll be enough to satisfy Alice.
But no, it's not. Alice continues bluntly, "Do you like him?"
"O-of course not!" I deny it quickly.
"Really?" She raises an eyebrow, smile morphing into a smirk.
"You don't have to worry about me stealing your boyfriend or anything, Alice!" I add. "Plus, he's been doing nothing but ignoring me lately!"
"But you're curious aren't you? Why he stood you up for your impromptu dance lesson?" Alice somehow knows what to say.
"How do you know?"
"Jasper tells me everything, duh!" She laughs like it's the most obvious thing in the world and that I'm silly for asking that question. I awkwardly laugh along, not knowing what else to do but join in. "Well, I'll see you around!" Alice joyfully returns to her seat as the teacher begins speaking. I sit still, trying to process what just happened.
Only one thing is certain. Alice scares me to death.
---
dun dun duuuuuun
Alice wants to be friends with Lila which is totally cool but also unnerving bc nobody knows what she's planning ('cept Edward) and I wonder what she's going to do...
thanks for reading ♡
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Fiksi Penggemar❝ When you say you want to love me until the world is dead, does that mean you'll be gone once the music dies? ❞ -- *Note: Slow-paced, meaning you won't meet Jasper until Chapter 3, and the first day of school spans two and an eighth chapters. Conte...