Dreams
I am running,
Gasping for breath;
With my heart in my stomach;
And the world around me dark.
I hear many people chasing me,
I run even faster,
Nearly slipping on a patch of mud,
While my head aches like never before.
A branch hits my face,
I push it away,
I find tears on my cheek as my hand brushes it,
What just happened?
My legs don't allow me to stop running,
I keep running,
The people are getting closer,
I hear them coming nearer.
A loud gasp emits from my throat,
When I realize that I am at the edge of a cliff,
There is nowhere to go,
I'm trapped.
The crowd reaches me,
Blocking my only way of escape,
I know every single one of them,
They are all the people I am the closest to.
I look behind me,
Contemplating jumping off,
I don't know why,
But I know that I can't let them get me.
"Go ahead,"
One of my friends sneer,
"You always said that you wanted to die anyway,
Here's your chance."
"You won't do it,"
To my horror,
My dad is the one who spoke,
"You're too scared."
The entire crowd,
Everybody I love,
Laughs mockingly at me,
Muttering about how much of a coward I am.
But I'm not,
And I won't let them get me,
I look out the cliff at the solid ground below,
I need to prove that I'm not scared.
I jump,
The sensation of falling hits me,
And so does the gasp of the crowd above,
I've proved them wrong.
I brace myself for the impact
And the pain that will follow,
When I hit the ground,
I don't feel pain.
I feel fine,
Like I landed on a pillow,
But I know I'm not,
I can see the ground beneath me staining red.
I see the crowd above,
My father's smiling face standing out among the frowns,
As the darkness swallows me,
I know that he provoked me on purpose.
I wake up,
The dream imprinted in my mind,
As real as any memory I've had,
As though I just lived it.
Dreaming about commiting suicide,
That's an indication that I am very close to actually doing it.
