1 girl 2 minds

I woke up to the sound of rain, its like I can hear every drop of it dripping and falling as lay still in bed. I don't have the energy to get up,every morning I saw my mother drunk, high and passed out on the couch with cocaine and empty bottles of alcohol everywhere. The tv is still on with reruns of the bachelor playing, I can't wait to get out of this Hell hole I call home. It's been 4 years since my father died, he was stabed on his way from work and the police still haven't been able to find the murder. ever since my fathers death my mom went into a deep depression and turned to drugs and alcohol, she hasn't been able to raise and care for me like a mom should I can't blame her tho I'm 15 and I shut everyone out. my fathers death has also been hard on me, this is my 2nd failed suicide attempt and after realizing that this isnt the way to go hopefully my last.