Dirty love (Richard x Mike)

Chapter 8 (breaking rules)

Richard's pov

D-did... did he noticed it? Was I too direct? He probably left so quickly out of fear.
I sighed and sat slowly on my bed. I was biting my lip. It hurts so fucking bad. Now I feel even worse for him, making him experience such a horrible pain.

Why do I have those feelings for him? He's a married man. He's happy with doll and still...
I can't control it. After that night I know for real, that I love him.
I rubbed the multiple hickeys and bite marks again.
He can be real tough if he wants to. But he just let his aggressions out on me. He really doesn't see more in me than a punching bag. Just a simple tool to use and throw away again.
Ow! God damn it! Why do I cry so much lately?

I whipped a few of my tears away but they didn't stopped rolling. I heard a click and a happy sounding Charles yelling "Good morning Rich!"
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
I buried my face into my hands and hoped Charles would look into my room.
"Hey, I-is everything fine?" He asked worried.

Fuuuuuuck! I can't tell him the truth but I'm really bad in finding excuses.
He grabbed my wrist and layed them down onto my legs. Now I've to look at him.
"Y-you're crying?! What's wrong?"
"N-nothing..."
"Come on. You know you can tell me anything."
"It's just complicated right now. That's all."
"Fine... but if you've a problem. You can always talk with me."
"Thanks."
"No problem."

He went out of my bedroom only to come back after a few minutes.
"Erm... I found Mikes nametag on the bathroom floor. Do you have an explanation for that?"
I blushed a little and looked shocked at the little plastic.
It must fell from his uniform. Oh great! Now I have to tell him the truth.

I sighed "You should probably sit down."
He sat beside of me on the bed and looked curiously at me. I sighed again and began to tell.
"Mike and I have a pact." I paused out of embarrassment.
"And that pact would be?" He asked.
I starred at the floor and mumbled quickly: "We are having sex after most nightshifts because we weren't happy with our sexlifes..."

Charles jaw dropped. He looked shocked at me.
"B-but It's just sex. Nothing more. We even made up rules. So it isn't cheating."
"I have to tell doll."
"No please!" Tears started streaming down my face again. Charles looked worried at me again.
"I... I promised I won't tell anybody."
He layed one hand on my shoulder.
"I guess I can keep it a secret."
I smiled at him in hope.
"Promise?"
"I promise."

I hugged him quickly.
"Thank god."
After a while Charles asked.
"Has that scene, before I came back, something to do with the pact?"
I sighed sadly. "Yeah..."
"And why were you so upset?"
"I..."
I couldn't say it. I just can't.
"The pact doesn't work out like it should."
"What do you mean by that?"
"Someone broke the most important rule."
"And that would be?"

"Falling in love..."
Charles looked shocked again.
"Mike fell in love with you?! That is cheating!" Charles yelled and stood up, about to run to the phone and tell doll.
"I didn't said it was mike who broke the rule."
I blushed and looked down at the floor. Charles was quiet. He probably doesn't find the right words.

"Y-you mean... you love mike?" He asked shyly. I nodded and hid my face into my hands once again. Charles sat slowly beside of me again and hugged me. He said:
"Are you gonna do anything about it."
"I've no idea what I could do. I think he doesn't see it and the worst part about this is that doll is pregnant. He probably is stopping this thing to be a father. And I'll probably just sit here quietly and watch how happy he is. How he's building a family. While I can't get my life together because I'm in love with a married man." I cried again. I just couldn't help it. My life is falling apart and I don't know how to change this.

"Come on. Don't cry. You'll get over him. I'm sure you'll find another person that'll love you until the end of time."
That sounded just like the times when we were still together. I remember how he said that to me. I remember how he said he would never leave me.
Yeah...
And what happened one month later?
We broke up.

"Yeah... probably..." I lied to him.
Everyone can say that so easily.
I love you.
And it could be nothing behind that.
I just don't wanna get left behind again. Am I wishing for too much?
I'll probably never find someone that'll love me back...