Substitute Soulmate

Like Him

Pure shock zipped through him. Sehun's eyes sat on her, but Namjoo had yet to look at him to complete her full confession. He didn't think they were anywhere near the point of hitting it off, so to hear this from her was bewildering.

"But I don't like you because of you."

The shock began fading faster than anticipated. Now he was confused, puzzled.

"My husband Park Chanyeol died three years ago," Namjoo started, "I loved him, I still do. And I miss him and I wish he was still here with me, but he's not. But you...you're just like him. You laugh like him, you smile like him, and it's all I think about...and it scares me." She squeezed her bag again and a drop of tear landed beside her hand. "So sometimes I wish you were him."

Namjoo's mouth trembled. She set her jaw to stop it. "It aggravates me when you're around. I don't hate you, but I'd also like it if you don't show up around me."

Pushing the door open Namjoo left. Thirty seconds later her car start down the street leaving him in the dust.

¤¤¤¤¤

"Are you sick?" Mina called from the bedroom doorway.

After getting back home, Namjoo had taken Olly out for a two block walk then returned. Ever since returning she'd been in bed. She was depleted of energy and she was stressed. This evening she wanted to call it quits. The grief of Yeol's mother and Yeol's father's situation weighed on her heavily. Mina depending on her made it a little harder. She would stand for them, but tonight she just wanted to not deal with anything.

"I just want to sleep," Namjoo buried her face into the pillow.

"I'm going to go out," Mina continued. "Do you mind if I borrow some money? I don't have any allowance right now. It's embarrassing to ask someone to pay for dinner for me."

"My purse is on the table," Namjoo murmured.

"Sleep well," Yeol's sister called back. A moment later the door closed. Alone at last, Namjoo curled up under the blanket and prayed for sleep.

¤¤¤¤¤

Sehun never knew before how it was to resemble someone so much that it hurt someone else. This was the first case in his life. It was still a shock.

The Park Chanyeol he had seen at Namjoo's place looked nothing like him. They had no similar physical attributes, but that was only to say because he didn't know the man. And he didn't know how it really felt to bury the person closest to you. He was just sorry for Namjoo, but now that she was honest...he didn't really feel so good.

Plucking the grass in front of him mindlessly he tossed them aside. A cruise ship slowly passed by with the sun drooping behind it. Everyone seemed to have a place today, but he had fallen out.

So, there were reasons why Namjoo had kissed when she was drunk. He had been someone else to her. Sehun scoffed and plucked out more grass. Now he felt like an insane fool for kissing her that one time. He must have looked crazy in her eyes.

Forget it he concluded standing to his feet. If it was like this then it was like this. If Namjoo didn't want him near her he'd just have to respect her wishes. He wasn't impudent at the least and he wouldn't be immature about it. Yet, even as he settled on his resolution he was still curious about who Park Chanyeol was.

The following morning when he passed Namjoo in the hallway she didn't even look at him. He would have stopped her to say hi, chat for a few minutes but he simply watched her go. It was awkward to be so distant when it felt like they'd done so much together recently. This was his first time experiencing something like it.