Substitute Soulmate

I Came for You

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"Are you eating well?" Sehun spoke to the little chicks walking around him. Squatting in the center of the chicken house outside he watched the furry animals noisily chirp around him. Scoffing, he said, "You won't even play with me. Olly would play with me."

Standing he stretched and stared up at the fresh blue sky. The weather was warm, perfect for a dip in the lake. Nice enough for an hour-long nap. Best for a date. Staring straight ahead he pushed aside the oncoming thought of Namjoo in his head. It was painful whenever she entered his mind, so he tried not to go there.

"What are you doing over there?! It's lunch!" his mother called from the pathway that led to her large garden. Behind that was their home. Even more beyond that was the shack he was using. They had renovated it when he wanted more privacy when he was in high school. Removing the old tool shelves and replacing them with a bed, desk, and whatever he had wanted.

"Eat up. Your mother made your favorite," his father said when he sat at the table. The lean old man with graying hair wore glasses. Like always, there was a newspaper folded at the side. Still obsessed about economics and if their farm could withstand the coming years. Planning ahead his father always preached needs to be done in life, so you know where you're going. Maybe he was right.

His round mother adoringly watched him eat. "Have a glass of water. Don't choke now. Geez, you look so famished. Have you been eating all right?" turning to her husband, "I knew he wouldn't be all right all alone. Someone should have gone with him."

"He's fine," his father noted.

Sehun had come back to Busan. He needed time to himself, a lot of air to breathe in order to clear out his thoughts. Being close to Namjoo made him want too much. Being too close to Namjoo hurt them both.

He needed to think in order to understand whether his efforts had been for naught or if he could try again when he went back. He wanted to be cool about it if Namjoo said no, because in his current state he'd probably break. Wanting her too much, loving her too much.

After lunch, he helped wash dishes then headed out to tend the fields with his mother. The homegrown watermelons were ripe, the cucumbers ready to eat, the corn stalks almost as tall as him. His parents would be selling a lot, eating a lot, saving a lot. Food for winter his mother always repeated. Sehun worked to kill the weeds, the most perfect task that took everything off his mind. Then they'd rest and his mother would peel cucumber for him, his father breaking a small watermelon open with his fist. Sitting around they'd talk and gossip about what had been going on since he'd been gone. It was nice to be home.

Turning in for the evening he took his stuff and went for a shower in the house, washing off the sweat, dirt, and grime. Stepping out with the towel slung over his shoulder he called out to his parents, "I'm going to sleep. Good night."

"Ok. Let us know if you need anything," his mother called from the kitchen.

A cool breeze slid across his skin when he opened the door. Stepping outside he closed the door and started across the yard. Once he reached the dirt lane he glanced back toward the highway that led into the city. The mountains were high but far. He suddenly thought about the night he and Namjoo had climbed the mountain behind his apartment. The stars had sparkled brightly almost as if they had been watching and praying for them to fall in love. Across the skyline a cloud nearly translucent against the dark sky stretched for miles. No stars tonight.

Sehun watched a car whizz past before turning to head toward the shack. Peace and quiet buzzed around him. It was a small a space as he remembered, but it was always good enough for him. Just a place to sleep, to be alone. His own private space away from watching eyes.