Skinny ☓ 5sos

Chapter 1

Voices.

That's all I hear in my head. Everyday, every hour, every minute. She tells me the unsaid thoughts from the people around me.

"Ew, please tell me i'll never look like that."

And she is Skinny. The voice living inside of me ever since I was 15 years old and I started gaining weight rapidly after my mother died. At first, her voice was almost hard to hear, but as I grew bigger so did her voice. And now I could hear her clearly. I have never seen her, I could only hear her but I picture her to be a goth version of TinkerBell.

I squeezed into the aisle of my junior english class with a swishing sound of my thighs rubbing together with each step.

"Thats disgusting." I heard Skinny whisper to me as a size zero Lindsay Martin glances as me with a disgusted look on her face. I ignored her glace as I sunk into my seat in the back corner where I was hardly noticed.

"Hey Lindsay, I like your bag, did you get it on sale at the knockoff store?" I sneered to her.

"Excuse me did you guys hear something?'' She said trying to ignore the fact that she heard me and she was offended.

"You said it looked real." I heard Lindsay whisper to her bestfriend and fellow size zero bestfriend.

"Ha good one." Emily Cole said to me while trying to cover her laughing mouth with her hands.

Emily was a really pretty girl with short straight brown hair that reaches her shoulders. She was the type of person that could really pull off short hair. She acted nice to me but i knew she disliked me as much as everyone else does. Being fat doesn't really win over friends. But Emily still pretends to be nice to me to probably to spare my feelings.

While me and Emily were laughing I noticed Luke staring at us, but it wasn't a good staring. It was kind of a "I feel bad for you" look.

"See, he made the right decision ditching you." Skinny's voice lingered in my ear. Her comment made me angrier then all the other hurtful things she had said to me, because it involved Luke. Luke Hemmings. My old best friend before I started gaining weight. I knew that he'd completely forgotten about me but he hasn't left my mind. Once I saw him looking at me I suddenly felt insecure, like I wasn't even allowed to laugh anymore. So I sunk in my chair even farther, as far as my stomach could let me and it wasn't even much.

The bell finally rang and I had to push myself out of the aisle bumping into a few desks on my way out. I bumped into Luke on my way out. He was wearing his usual style which consists of black skinny jeans with rips on the knee, a navy blue buttoned up shirt, black vans for shoes and a black beanie pushed behind his blonde quiff. I always dreamed about hugging him and burying my face into the creek of his neck while standing on the tip of my toes. But I didn't have to dream that much because once upon a time, I've been their. I was waiting for Skinny to whisper thoughts about what Luke was thinking about me, but nothing came up. I didn't know what was worse, the fact that Luke didn't think bad thoughts about me, or the fact that he doesn't think about me at all. He used to think about me all the time when he had bucked teeth and glasses. But now that he has contacts and a full set of straight teeth and he's completely forgotten about me. And he's forgotten watching movies with me late at night and kissing me behind our favorite tree in the forest behind my house. As I covered myself in fat over the years, his memory of me as his best friend faded away and I've become unrecognizable. But I don't blame him because I couldn't recognize myself either.

It was now 6th period and I was in math once again sucking in my stomach to squeeze into the aisle to fit. I usually got to class so much earlier so that I could get the wide desks but last period my teacher held me after class to discuss an extra credit project. As I looked around the classroom I noticed that the desk I usually sat at was occupied. The only desk that was available was a slanted chair in the middle of the classroom.

"If you sit on that chair it'll break for sure." Skinny whispered to me as I made my way into the slanted chair. I slumped into the chair praying that it wouldn't break.

"Wow, I didn't even know that they made jean sizes that big." Kaitlyn said to Lindsay Martin thinking that I couldn't hear her. They think that being fat affected your hearing. I tried ignoring her comment and focused on staying still so that my chair wouldn't break. The teacher saw my struggle and looked at me.

"Oh look, you could see the pity in her eyes for you."

The lesson began and we started going over the problems by solving them on the board.

Pleasedon'tcallomePleasedon'tcallonme.

"Lydia Farell, Please solve question number five on the board."

I froze. I knew the answer but solving the question meant the I had to struggle getting out of my desk and all my fat would grab everyone's attention on me, the bad kind. I got out of my chair, after struggling a couple of times and everyone laughed. But I wouldn't blame then.

I was 17 years old and I weighed 302 Pounds.

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start to the new story. hope you like it.

i made a trailer to the book if you want to see it. :))

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thx for reading. ilyy xx