Starts With Goodbye

Chapter 3

I'm only ever at piece of mind when I'm alone in my home, making breakfast. Brayden couldn't hurt me in any way when he wasn't home. And he couldn't make me do anything.

That only thing I hate about this vacation is that Brayden is constantly here. He will never leave and it scares me. Well, I thought that until today.

"Hey, babe?" he called out.

"Yeah?" I asked him shakily.

"I'm really sorry, but I have to go out and do something for work. Is that okay?"

I was confused, but since I'd be free from him today, I figured to let him go. I don't see him lying, even after all the things he does. It's just, lying obviously isn't the worse he can do.

"Sure, have fun."

Within the next hour, Brayden was gone. Leaving me alone and giving me time to tell Luke. I had to tell him everything.

I picked my phone and was about to text him when I stopped myself. I don't want Luke to worry about me. I can't have him worry about me. Besides, I can't break his heart and tell him that I got... He just can't know.

I rather Luke know absolutely nothing than know everything. I want his mind to be at ease and not running wild. I can't risk his happiness. I can't have him be sadden by my life. I set that man free, I'm not going to anchor him down with my life. He can't know, he just can't.

As I sat in my vacation house, I debate on what to do. What can I do? I can't risk people finding out the truth behind my relationship. So, hanging out with people is a no-go. I can't go out, because I am bruised all over. So, what can I do in my short amount of freedom.

Absolutely nothing. For once, I can finally relax and not worry about when the next time Brayden will hurt me. At least, that is for now.

I wonder what Luke's up to today. I wish I was brave enough to let him see my scars. My bruises and cuts. But what Brayden did to me last night, Luke is not allowed to know.

He thinks I'm happy with Brayden. Only because I lied. Why? Why did I lie when I knew damn well that I love Luke and not him? Why didn't I tell Luke the truth and make him my hero? My safe haven and saving grace.

I want to keep Luke safe and him being clueless will keep him safer than him knowing would. Even if he could protect me. Damn, I miss him so much. I want him back. Knowing that he's been alone like this for so long, damn that's dedication. He must love me so much.

Why did I let myself get into this situation? I'm going to talk to Brayden. I have to at least try and breakup with him, right? I mean, it's worth a shot. Who knows, maybe I will be set free or could be trapped forever and have a worse life than what I have. But I'm willing to take that risk if it means protection the people I love the most. I will not let Brayden win. This is my war and I'm going to fight it with all I got.

----

I was working in the studio, my mind elsewhere. I don't know why, but I was worrying myself sick about Caroline. Something didn't feel right and I couldn't shake it.

Kerri peeked her head in the studio and gave me the look that meant something was wrong. I knew that it was me.

"You okay, Luke? You seem out of it."

I shrugged, taking the headset off and cracking my knuckles. "Something seems off and I can't shake the feeling. I'm worried about Caroline," I muttered.

Kerri furrowed her eyebrows together. "Caroline? You mean your ex-girlfriend?"

I nodded slowly and Kerri didn't say another word. She poked her head back out of the recording booth.

She had nothing to say whatsoever and I could understand why. I shouldn't be so into this girl. I should be married with kids by this point. Even my parents are starting to think I'll never be truly happy.

But if Caroline was just back in my life as a friend, even though it'd tear me up inside, at least I would still have her.

Even though Caroline was happy, I still couldn't shake the feeling that she was in some sort of trouble. Something bad happened, I know it did. But what exactly happened?

I walked out of the recording both and breathed in heavily. Kerri gave me a worried look, it reflected my own.

"Something's wrong," I mumbled.

"What?" Kerri questioned me.

I groaned in dismay. I hated this feeling. I guess it's my love for her that's giving me this, this strange connection to her. I just know something's off.

"I don't know. But, Kerri, it's something. I know there is something, you just have to believe me," I told her. "Just, please give me my phone so I can call her."

"Luke, Caroline has her own boyfriend to look after her. You have a job here, she has a new life. I know it hurts, but God damn it, it's about time someone told you the truth. What you and Caroline had is over. I know you love her and want to look after her, but she can look after herself. She's moved on and it's time you did to."

"But, Kerri-"

"No buts. Luke, sometimes there's good and goodbye. And it's about time you recognized that. She's not yours anymore. You're friends, nothing more."

I looked down and shook my head. Tears welled up in my eyes. "But I'm not ready to say goodbye. I suppose you're right though."

"About what?" Kerri pushed.

I wiped my tears and sat down in regret. "I just need to get over her. You're not wrong. Sometimes there is good in goodbye, but please let me check on her one last. I know I will never stop loving her. How could I? I've been in love with her for over eighteen years."

Kerri sighed. She reluctantly handed my phone over to me. I know she's right. She doesn't want to see me hurt, but I just can't make myself say goodbye. Not yet anyway. I know something is wrong and I'm going to figure out exactly what it is.

I quickly dialed Carol's number and put the smartphone against my ear. It rang. One. Two. On the third rang, she picked up.

"Luke?"

"Hey, Carol. How is everything? Just felt like chatting. What's up?" I questioned, not revealing the real reason why I called.

"Oh, Luke! Thank God you called! Something horrible happened and I think we need to go to the hospital!"