A Month with Him

Day 11

I spend the whole night thinking about Jack, did he landed safe? does something bad happen? what time did he arrive? I'm not able to sleep well so I woke up with headache and also add that my phone didn't stop ringing.

Its your birthday today but you're not here beside me. I look at the wall clock on my room, its already 10 in the morning, I grab my phone and 50+ missed calls are written on my screen. Who is this? I look at the call logs but the number isn't in my phonebook, Who will call me? Is it Jack? Maybe or maybe no, since he said that international calls are expensive.

I get up to do my morning routines. Its refreshing, I still have my class this afternoon so I need to get ready or else I'll be late. I turn on the radio and started to fix myself, I don't have someone to pick me up today. I should go all by myself.

Its just 11 days since we became together but I think I'm already into his presence, I miss someone who always annoy me. I shrug those thoughts off and finally put a mascara.

My phone rang and it was again the unregistered number. "Did you miss me?" My eyes widen as I hear the voice on the other line of the call. "Jack" I loudspeak the call so that I could still fix myself while talking to him.

"I hope you can see what I'm seeing now" I can feel the disappointment in his voice and I can figure out his face. "Pretty girls?" I mock him while secretly chuckling. "Yes, And I'm longing for the girl of my life. Oh her name is Akiesha Winter if you're interested to know. " I stopped by those words and my lips formed a smile like it has its own brain. "But seriously I wish you can see those stars that light up the sky so you would know how you light my life. I love you Akiesha Winter." I run to my veranda and starts to imagine the sky full of stars eventhough its morning. "I love you too Jack Frost."

We both laugh at what I say, but seriously. I only knew your name and not your surname. This waist grabber starts to mean alot for me. Waist grabber, I still remember how we started, how my life became miserable and happy at the same time.

He tell me something that no one had tell me before. "You got my car right?" He asks at the other line, its quiet there maybe because its still night there.

"Yes." I said, "Use it okay? I know you got a bike but just use it." He said and I can imagine him infront of me giving me a lecture about how safe it is to use car than to use my own bike but you know, I take a bus to go to school. "Okay, Copy that." I laugh and everything became quiet, I look at my phone and he's still there.

"Akiesha? I have to tell you something but I just can't for now." I feel nervous, numb, I can't really tell how I feel. I know in the first place that this relationship is not the kind of relationship that every girl wants to have, its not permanently.

"Hey still there?" He said, I got back to my senses. "Yes" I answer, I tried to be happy the whole conversation but I really feel my knees are about to fall on the ground.

I need something to cheer me up, and only one place with a girl who looks like goldilocks because of the curls of her hair.

I drive his car and turn on the radio, singing along with the song. I reach the ice cream parlor where I go when I needed refreshments.

I look around but I can't see Charlotte so I take a seat on the corner of the shop. "Triple chocolate ice cream with double chocolate syrup and chocolate sprinkles on top?" I look up and there she goes, I got a chance to look at her, she's hot. She's indeed pretty with his dark round eyes.

"Charlotte." I smiled at her, I try to give her the sweetest smile I could give. "Akiesha, dear." She smiled back, walk to the counter to give my order and then seat across me.

"What brings you here again?" She said while smiling at me, I knew it. Is she a mind reader? She's like Zane. "Its uhm.." I look at the window. "I'm afraid, I'm afraid that I might hear the words I don't want to hear." I told her and look at my spoon.

"Why are afraid? You should listen to it, it will help you to be better." She said and hold my hand. "Or worse. You know, I'm afraid to feel the same thing I felt, five years ago." I told her and look straight to her eyes.

"Do not dwell to the past, forget it. You should move on." She said, I nod but still my brain doesn't want to believe it. "I've been there before, sometimes you think thats its better not to hear the things that will broke you but I'm telling you. You don't have to be afraid, be brave enough to accept whatever it is." She said and go back to his work.

Be brave ..

How? how can I be brave? I don't want to lose someone who brings out the best in me? I want him to stay in my life, I needed him.

I shrugg and finish my ice cream. I still have an hour left to drive myself to school. I turn my phone off and starts my way to the nearest library, maybe I just need some books today. But still my brain isn't functioning right. Its nowhere to be found.

Someday, someday we'll going to talk about the thing you want to say. I just need to wait.