A Month with Him

Day 12

Its really a nice day with a nice weather, but I didn't like it. You're still not here today but its fine since we're still able to keep in touch, I admit it, I miss you. I miss your presence, I miss you mocking about things, I miss seeing you scream because of a horror movie. I laughed as I imagine your face screaming.
"Ms. Winter? Do you want to share something?" I'm thrown back to reality, I forgot. I'm in class, and at the moment every one is looking at me. "Nothing sir, Its a great day isn't it?" I try to act cool and smile at my professor.

He look at the window, its a cloudy day! everyone enjoys it even me when Jack isn't around yet.

"Yes it is, but can you please stop daydreaming and focus on our lesson?" He said and everyone starts to whisper to one another. I tried to listen very hard but I don't understand anything so I just wrote everything that is written on the board.

Finally, after a couple of hours the bell has rang. I'm going home now, Yikes! I was about to go to the car when someone just grab me. Again!? he's dragging me to the library, take note to the very corner of the library where in old books is stored and nobody, Okay and only few students dare to go here. I will shout and run when he let go of my hand, I promise.

"Be quiet" I knew that voice. Stupid! It was Jack. I quickly face him and hug him tight."You told me that your flight was next week and you are here! I hate you!" I hit his chest continuously. Stupid! I was about to pick him up if ever. "If that so, then I'll book a flight to go back there" He laughed as I frown at him. "No, Don't you ever go back there again or else--." I was cut when he pulled me for a hug. "Or else?" He uttured as I felt his lips landed on my forehead. "I'm gonna miss you badly, Again." I know a smirk was form on his lips.

"Let's get out of here." I told him and holding each others hand we ride his car to a near seashore. The sun is falling down and I won't regret spending it with him.

Still holding each other we walk with our bare foot. "When I was young, I always stalk a girl who loves to go to a beach near at my school." He said and look far. "The same girl you told me not so long ago?" I said smiling at him. He nods and face me while holding both of my hands.

"If you meet her again, you can tell me. I'll let you go, you're still inlove with her. I can see it in your eyes." Once again, I'm hurting myself but I learned to hide the pain I feel, I know he wouldn't notice that I want to stab myself by telling those words to him.

He look down and look straight to my eyes. "I already see her." My tears wants to flow but I shrugg it and smile at him. "Let's forget about it." He said and held my hand.

"Once a upon a time, there was a little girl who loves to play by the seashore with her loving mother and caring sister but then her scariest nightmare come." I said and sit near the sea where I'm able to touch the cold water, I feel his presence sit beside me.

"What happened?" He asked, I close my eyes and took a deep breath. "Her mother died when a man came to their house, the little girl is sleeping with her mother until she heard a loud scream, that came outside her room." I really hate to go on lakes and beaches, I can't help on reminiscing that awful moment. I hate it, I can't help but to blame myself.

"Since then, she hated every man she met, she hated the world, she hated the past, she hated to be with anyone. She hated herself." I look at him, he's quiet but I can see that he pity me. "Don't pity her." I look back to the sea, The waves are calm.

I feel arms hug me. "You can cry." Yes, but I didn't. I don't want to look weak infront of anyone. I don't want them to see me at my worst, not with another man.

He hug me tight and I feel his lips on my forehead. "You can't forget about that? Let's do it together. I'll help you out, trust me okay?" I smile, a painful smile and nod at him. "You don't have to do it alone, I'm here now." I wanted to believe but I can't, I can't trust another man.

"Let's go?" He help me to get up and we headed to his car, the whole trip to the house is quiet. No one dares to speak, I don't know why I open my past to a man I rarely known. I just feel like I should tell him something about myself since he told me about a girl who held his world since his childhood days.

I lay on my bed and open it. My diary, its been a long time since the last time I write something.

11.19.16 9:43 pm.

Dear Diary,

I thought this day would be a great day but its a painful one. The ghosts from my past is still hunting me, I'm still scared. I told someone about it, I know he'll be gone soon because everybody does except from Zane ofcourse. You know diary, I know I'm not the girl he likes because he's a head over heel inlove with a girl, I tried to ignore this feeling but everytime he's around, I can't maybe I should just go to the flow. Goodnight diary. Imissyouu.