Heaths (Heathers)

Big fun

RAE
Mom says "Act your age."
You heard it guys, it's time to rage!

ALL
Blast the bass, turn out the light

HEATHS
Ain't nobody home tonight!

RAE
Drink, smoke, it's all cool.
Let's get naked in my pool!

ALL
Punch the wall and start a fight!
Ain't nobody home tonight!

KIARA
His folks got a waterbed.
Come upstairs and rest your head.

RAE
Let's rub each other's backs
while watching porn on Cinemax!

CHANDLER, KIARA, RAE, KIDS
The folks are gone,
it's time for big fun! Big fun!
We're up till dawn
having some big fun! Big fun!
When mom and dad forget
to lock the liquor cabinet,
it's big fun! Big fun!

RONIC
So wait, it's lime, then salt, then shot?

HEATH MCNAMARA
No, salt, then -

HEATH CHANDLER
You're doing it wrong!

RONIC
Really? 'Cause I feel great.

PREPPY STUD
Ronic, you're looking good tonight!

RONIC
Whoa.
A hot girl smiled at me,
without a trace of mockery!

ALL BUT RONIC
Everyone's high as a kite,
ain't nobody home tonight!

RONIC
Stoned. Zoned. I should quit...
Hey, is that weed? I want a hit.

ALL BUT RONIC
Fill that joint and roll it tight,
ain't nobody home tonight!

RONIC
Dreams are coming true
when people laugh but not at you!
I'm not alone! I'm not afraid!
I feel like Bono at Live Aid!

ALL
The house is ours,
it's time for big fun!
Big fun!
Let's use their showers,
that sounds like
big fun! Big fun!
Crack open one more case!

(RONIC observes couple making out)

RONIC
I that that's what they call
"third base."

ALL
Big fun! Big fun! Big fun!

RONIC
That actually looks like -

ALL
Big fun! Big fun! Big fun!

(KIARA holds up a pig pinata with a sign that says "Jefferson Razorbacks")

KIARA
All right, people! What is Westerberg gonna do to the Razorbacks at Sunday's game?

(RAE mimes sex with the pinata)