Alone

How it happened

"Vic , Mike , and I , our  parents past away ..in a car accident not very long ago . It was a drunk driver who , was on the phone . He suffered minor injuries , and went to jail for a DUI , but not murder . For my mama she died on the impact , almost instantly . My papa had a fractured skull , and surprisingly survived for 5 days , the 5th night I was talking to him , and he took his last breath , Mike and Vic , where too devastated to even say good bye . I have been the strong one in the family , I never cried at funerals , not even my mamas or papas . Not until a week later , it all caught up too me Vic found me in my mamas closet , crying holding her favorite shirt , and shoes , just sobbing . The next week I didn't eat , move ,or sleep . I finally left my room , because I figured my mama wouldn't want to see me like this . ~I take a breath , when I get ready to talk about my papa~ and I tried to go out side that same day ... but it just wasn't the same .. not with out my papa fixing the grass , or the flowers ... or something . Just always had to fix something , ~I chuckle at the thought of that~ I couldn't go back out side , it wasn't the same... I just sat where I'd normally sit , and where my mama would sit which is be next to me , and she'd ask how I slept . My papa would watch the Novellas that I found boring as hell but some how I grew used to watching them . My papa would say " Did you get a boy friend yet mija ? because jur beautiful.. ~ I silently cried ~ and I'd just laugh , at him , and say I have 150 stuffed animals , I don't need a boy friend . And my papa would say but I want a grand child , I want , I want to see them run around like little midgets .,and I 'd just laugh , and look at Vic . When I finally realized my papa wasn't coming back , that's when it all started again I got into fights , and started cutting when ever they popped in my head , but I was showering one night , and I just couldn't bare it any longer . ~ the thought of the day I collapsed in the shower crying popped in my head ~ I dropped to my knees asking god why he took my parents , asking him why so early . "

I looked at Jaime who was sobbing .

"I cried every single night , I had nightmares , and I got sick , from being hurt . Doctors where coming to my mamas house checking up on me . Vic and mike would struggle with me having the nightmares , because it would be cutting sleep out of them , and yenno . I still cant believe they're gone ......"

"I miss them so much Jaime , and I'm tired of being the strong one . I'm tired I have feelings too , I just ..I cant take it anymore ...I'm dying , this is killing me each day more and more . It eats me alive this anger , sorrow , and pain . Mentally and Emotionally , I'm dying . " I cry into Jaime's shoulder .

"It's ok, let it out... don't hold it in anymore ..." He says , and before I know it , I was asleep , I didn't get to hear what he had to say.

*Jaime's POV*

"I miss them so much Jaime , and I'm tired of being the strong one . I'm tired I have feelings too , I just ..I cant take it anymore ...I'm dying , this is killing me each day more and more . It eats me alive this anger , sorrow , and pain . Mentally and Emotionally , I'm dying . " She cry into my shoulder .

"It's okay let it out... don't hold it in anymore ... It isn't healthy .. and I understand how you feel ... Mama and Papa , where my parents too .. Theirs not a day that goes by that I don't not think about them ... Because I love them , and when I look at you I see your mama , and when I look at mike I see your papa , they have the same smile , and when I look at Vic I see your papa , a hard worker never giving up .Tony was talking to me the' other day , he goes 'I wonder how mama and papa are in heaven ' It was a beautiful conversation about them and how they would make us take our elbows off the table , and not to yell and laugh at the table , and not to chew with out mouths out ~ I chuckle and think of mike ~ anyway .... " I try to move but ,  a sleeping Aaron is knocked out . I place my head on her shoulder and fall into a deep sleep as well .