[S] ==> Dirk, talk to Jake on Pesterchum

I sat in front of my computer wondering what to do. Besides making sick beats with my lil’ bro, I didn’t feel like moving from my pile of plush rumps. I was about to get up when I heard the ding of my pester chum application.

            “Who’s online?” I said opening up the window. The box popped up and it said

GolgothasTerror is online! Would you like to chat with him?

Before I could click no he sent me a message.

            “Hallo ol’ chap! What’s all this robotics noise I hear coming from your home?”

            I sighed. He really loves to bother me doesn’t he? I didn’t have anything else to do so I sat my butt back down on my plush rumps and responded to his stupid remarks.

            “Hi.” I didn’t have anything to say since I didn’t want to encourage his act. Though, he didn’t seem to get that I didn’t want to talk to him.

            He responded with a, “BWUH!? I feel like I’ve seated my bottom on a bush load of prickly pears! Why so negative? Am I too infuriating?”

            That does it. This guy is so annoying. Though I would like to have him remain anonymous, I probably should tell you who he is. This, “GolgothasTerror” is my “friend”. He is quite annoying sometimes. O.K, maybe I lied about that. He’s annoying all the time. Oh look, he’s sent me another message.

            “Drat. Now you’re angry aren’t you? Because heaven forbid you laugh for once! You’re too serious I say. Like when your mini you, a.k.a your brother, came along you spoke to him with such rudeness; no type of currency would buy you enough manners to save your bosom.”

            Now he was really getting on my nerves. I’m sick of this kid. Oh right, I forgot to tell you his name. His name is Jake English and yes, though it sounds stupid, that is his real name. My name (which I think is more reasonable) is Dirk Strider. My lil’ bro, is Dave Strider. Now its time for me to teach this kid a lesson with my sick raps.

“Your conversation is causing my frustration. You need to take a vacation to a private location because your grammar’s so terrible that it is unbearable! OH! “

            I brushed off my shirt and waited for his response. He didn’t answer for a while but eventually he did.

            “Your rapping is incoherent. I think your going off the handle ol’ chap. Though your grammar is spiffy, I must inquire why you say mine is as bad as a cockeyed rooster.”

“I guess you don’t see that you sound like a bee. Buzzing by my ear, oh the apocalypse must be near!” I decided to end it there to rest my fingers but Jake had a different idea.

            “Actually the apocalypse has already happened since I see you’ve been nappin’. Your move, chump”

            I could say I was quite surprised. No one has ever replied to my sick raps with such energy. Though, this was Jake, anything could happen. Since I have a challenger, I might as well bury him in embarrassment.

            “I don’t think you understand, what you’ve gotten yourself into, I mean, its even deeper than poo.  But I guess a lesson shall teach you the way. Or in the dungeon you shall lay. Too bad this isn’t my world, or I would make you hurl.”

            No one can beat my sick beats. I mean, I even rhyme I my sleep.  Sometimes I get so caught up that I start to weep. Oh, wait off track here, he’s already answered me.

            “Dashing through the snow, Dirk is really low. I think I might’ve hit him oh boy oh boy oh boy! OH! Jingle bells, Strider smells, and your beats are so lame. Tallyhoo, Dirk.”

            I sat there staring at the screen for a moment. Was I just defeated? No. He gave up leaving me with a stupid song. I stared at the screen long and hard. The screen lights reflecting off my amazing shades.

            GolgothasTerror has left the conversation.