Self depreciating poems about a real girl with emotional problems.

Red Marks

Staring in the mirror, feeling un-superior. Found a new mark today, slowly taking a piece away. My life is just doctors and disappointment. Nothing to do about it. Forgetting to take my pill pays a big price. A free day is just one $red line.99. Got all dolled up just to feel dolled down. "You look better in jeans." But the jeans don't fit. I feel like a prisoner trapped in a body and dosent know what to do. I could eat better, eat less. But that's pretty hard to do. It's easy to eat a salad. It's hard to resist anything else. It's even harder to take the pain and regret of eating it, though. So I'm confused. I hate bullies, but I am one. My biggest target?, Myself. My other victims?, my arms, chin, and thighs. My friends try to help, but they only beat me up more. "It's okay, you have a problem. You can't help it." But that only reminds me I could've. "Wow, I'm 110 pounds? I'm so obese." Obesity isn't fat. Obesity isn't just your weight. It's a mindset. We have a problem to where we internally hate ourselves so much that we inflict this unbearable pain. That pain?, self hatred. And the only reason we aren't helping ourselves is that somewhere deep in ourselves we actually like it. So desperate to have a problem, we decide to not accept that we have to fix it. We hate ourselves. We are picky about ourselves. It's like a child that keeps crying just so they can get something, but then forgets about it just because they wanted the attention. We all hate something, mine just happens to be my Red Marks.
-Mythical_Author