Oblivious To Love |ON HOLD|

Chapter 15

Listen to the song above^
Takes me right in the feels.
*swoon*

"You look so damn pretty." Kristina remarked yet again as we entered 'Cocktuels.' Yep. You got that right. That was the name of the one of the best bars in San Diego. Nicholas told me the story behind the place's name on our way here. Apparently, Samuel was conflicted between calling the bar 'Coktails' or 'Samuel's' so he settled for mashing both of them together.

"Keep saying that and I might just start believing it." I snorted and rolled my eyes.

"There's no pleasing you, woman." She muttered with exasperation and went past me and Christian, towards her husband who was already ahead of us.

I looked down at my attire and frowned. I wore a knee-length black coloured A-line dress with a bateau neckline, short sleeves, and a floral beaded detail at the hip. I won't deny that the dress was beauti- scratch that- it was really really hot. But I just didn't feel like it was for me. I didnt have that perfect hourglass figure that the dress apparently deserved to be complimented with. Even when Kristina said it like, a trillion of times, I didn't feel pretty.

However, it wasn't just the dress. Yes, I felt like this dress could've stood out if it was worn by someone else but I had no choice. This was the only dress in the category of classy yet casual in which Kristina squealed and shrieked that if I wasn't going to wear it tonight, she'd gauge my eyeballs out of my sockets.

Gross, I know. I can't get the image out of my head uptil now.

The dress wasn't the only thing that was making me feel insecure of my appearance, it were the people I was with. I mean just look at them! Christian and Nicholas practically seemed like the descendants of Adonis in their Armani suits, Kristina was the eptitome of goddess Astraea with that pregnancy glow and a salmon coloured asymmetric push dress, and I was sure neither Samuel, or his girlfriend looked any less. And then there was me, not in anything less than a Versace dress, but no model rocking in it either.

But then, maybe it was paranoia speaking. Maybe I looked fine and was just jitterish from inside. But for what? Unfortunately, that's the question I don't have an answer to. Today has been, well... totally weird. I just couldn't find a way to comfort myself. For starters, there were these flashbacks of last night's events still crowding my mind, and then there was the talk that I had with Kristina earlier, and well last but never the least, the person who the conversation was actually about, Christian. I don't know why, but I had this over-burdening feeling on my shouders. As if there was something that I was supposed to do and it was suffocating me. I had to get it out, but how? I had no idea.

'The truth. You know it's the right thing to do.' A voice whispered in my head.

No. Shut up. That's most definitely not why I feel paranoid. Besides, I can't do it. I don't want to.

'And live your entire life with noone to love or cherish your existance and spend it watching The Notebook everyday in misery? Sure, I'm always up for that downfall of yours.'

I put the voice at the back of my head and continued fidgeting with my fingers while following Nicholas and Kristina to the private room with Christian who had his hands on my waist to carry on with the act in front of the whole world.

"Don't do that." He mumbled by my side.

"Do what?" I frowned in confusion.