Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman

Chapter Five: Bros Before Ho's

There were a myriad of reasons that Miles Edgeworth had been forever touted not only as Phoenix Wright's all-time greatest rival in the courtroom, but as a genius prosecutor. His keen ability to surmise a situation quicker than most, and then react quickly and accordingly, was most definitely one of them.

In this particular instance, the perceptive prosecutor took one look at Maya's murderous expression, rapidly speculated a calamity about to ensue should she open her mouth to reply to the waitress's harmless drink order query, and beat her to the punch.

"We will have a round of Dead Lawyers, please. Thank you," he said simply, and surprisingly, with a straight face. Larry actually let out a snort, and Maya actually couldn't repress a titter herself as she waited for the blonde's reaction.

Tiffany paused for an extra moment, rapidly blinking her copiously mascaraed eyes a few times before smiling brightly. "Well, slap my head and call me silly! I didn't realize you men of law could be so sexy and have such a sense of humor! Seriously though, what can I get you folks?"

"I ensure you Miss, while I can certainly see the comedic implications of the name, it is most definitely a real drink," Edgeworth assured her. "On the off-chance your bartender is not familiar with it, it entails a mixture of white crème de cacao, maraschino liqueur and dry vermouth." He flashed Maya a sardonic smile. "For the birthday girl's drink in particular, it appears a double would be in order."

"Mighty forthcoming of you to provide the recipe. Otherwise am sure this request would have made the bartender as confused as a fart in a fan factory! Ima try to hurry back with those drinks, but tonight is so busy the poor man's running around back there like a blind dog in a meat house! However, you got my word that anything y'all want, y'all will get. After all, your wish is my command, fine sir, I mean, kind sir." Tiffany gave another one of her flirty little winks and sashayed off, swinging her hips a bit as she did so.

The moment she did, Larry let out another wolf whistle and shook his head in wonder.

"Lordy, Lordy have mercy! Forget your twins, Maya! How the heck are those being held up?"

Edgeworth actually let out an uncustomary chuckle. "While gutter-minded individuals could spend their time pondering about Miss Tiffany's gravity-defying attributes, I am more inquisitive about how I happened to get the demotion of 'fine sir' to Wright's 'handsome'!"

"Silicon doesn't sag, you fool!" Franziska erupted, glaring at Larry first before turning her furious face towards Edgeworth. "And if I'm not mistaken, I do believe the inappropriate strumpet had included the both of you in her needless 'sexy' comment. Does this better please you, Herr Edgeworth?"

Edgeworth's previous chuckle was now replaced by a shout of full blown laughter as he looked at the stormy-eyed woman next to him, whose thunderous expression rivaled Maya's previous one. "Franziska my dear, do not tell me you are actually jealous of the innocuous flirtations of a young lady simply trying to ensure a generous tip?"

"So what if I am?" Franziska crossed her arms sulkily. "That man-eater was about as innocent as Dahlia Hawthorne! I thought it was bad enough that she was on the verge of giving Phoenix a lap dance before Maya intervened! But then to be making innuendos to you right before my eyes shows an incredible amount of disrespect. Did she not see the ring on my finger?"

Edgeworth managed to stifle another laugh and put his arm around his irked fiancée, pulling her closer to him, although a glint of amusement lingered in his dark grey eyes. "I assure you, meine dame that I only have eyes for you. As proven by said betrothal ring on your finger. So please keep calm and keep your whip away tonight, like you promised me."