Fates | Book 2 ✔️

[23]

I try my best to peel my eyes away from Lance, but the harder I try the worse it gets. He pulls up a chair and sits backward on it. Instead of looking at me, he turns his head towards the window where the moon is shining brightly. A crescent moon. Nibbling on my lips distracts me, for a moment. Soon my eyes make their way back to him, wanting him to say something first. As if noticing my growing unease, Lance looks at me and gives me a small smile. Just from that smile alone, I can tell I already did the thing I promised I would not ever do to him again. I hurt him. I hurt him because of my stupid need to handle everything myself.

"I'm sorry... "

Lance draws his lips tight and shakes his head. "It doesn't matter."

"You said that you would look past it... but I know... you're still hurt by it."

"As long as if you know," he mumbles.

"Don't keep it to yourself."

"You know how I was feeling about Emery and then you tried to leave as well. How did you think I would react? It was like that moment again. It was like reliving that moment all over again, you know. And though my heart hurt, the thought of losing you again hurt far worse. Why do you keep doing this me? Making me feel so anxious and belittled?"

"I was thinking of coming back even before you tackled me to the ground." My eyes lower to my hands. "I keep wanting to protect you from these terrible things like the time before. But when you look at me like that I'm reminded you aren't the same person I knew three years ago."

"I--"

"You are older. You are bigger and stronger now. You don't need me to protect you. I get that now. ...But sometimes it's hard. Sometimes, I still see you as you were three-four years ago."

"I'm not the same. I can't possibly be... but that's okay, right?"

"I fell in love with you then and  I'm falling in love with you all over again now. It doesn't matter how much you've changed. How could it when your eyes are still the same. Your lips... and your smile... and your laugh... that is all very much the same. In the beginning, I thought you had, but the greater part of you has not. You were just too busy trying to hide it away for me to see it."

He licks his lips and looks away from me.

"After Emery, you are the world to me." Lance rolls his eyes while scoffing away a smile. "He stole away my heart before you could."

"I'm sure he did," Lance says, unable to hold back a smile.

"He's like the sweet mini version of you."

"And I'm not sweet?"

"You're not."

Lance crosses his arms. "Then what am I?"

"A cross between bitter and sweet. Bittersweet. Like wine or dark chocolate."

"Oh... "

I walk over to him and kiss his lips. "Maybe I lied about the sweet thing but I like things that tend to linger and melt in my mouth. That way, I can savor the taste," I say eyeing his lips before looking back into his eyes.

He smiles sheepishly at me and turns his head away again. "Tell me what you wanted to say before we get... distracted."

"I love you." I kiss his nose this time, watching him try to make himself frown. Instead, a dark red blush spills onto his face. "And I'd do anything to protect you... and that anything is what keeps getting me in trouble."

"It wouldn't if you would just tell me. I'm not asking you for anything but an explanation. Why is that hard for you?"

"Because I don't want you to worry."