What Now?

Hot and Cold

(A/N) I'M ALIVE?!?!?! I'm so so so soooo sorry that it has been forever since I updated. I had so much school work, massive writers block, no wifi for a month and I've been away so please forgive meeeeee. I'll try to update more. Thank you for being so patient with me and thank you so so so much for 16K READS?!?!?!?! Anyway, reading all of your comments is the best thing ever. Strap in children, these next two chapters are a bumpy ride and then the chapter after will be a whole different kind of *ahem* bumpy ride if you know what I mean *wink wink wonk*. Let's get on with this bitch then.

For a majority of his child life, he had walked the streets of Russia. The icy winter pavement, the powdery consistency of fresh snow, and the constant bite at his bones of the ever present chill. He would travel the world but that cold was his home. Even the ice on which he weaved his masterpieces there was an ever present chill. Except after returning to his 'home' from Japan, something became apparent. One factor in his life, an enlightenment you might say, had changed that without his knowledge. The once familiar gnaw of freezing air was oh so much colder, the snow ridden streets oh so much barer. Victor had come to love the warmth.

The warmth that was Yuri.

His home, although special to him, could never quite make him feel the way Yuri did. Its chilling nights ever colder when Yuri was absent. Yuri was Victor's light, his warmth. Yuri was his sun. And when the sun disappears that's when the world goes dark, lifeless... cold.

That was the only way Victor could describe what he had felt when Yuri had left him a few nights prior. A chill so deep that his heart shattered. A cold so consuming his limbs wouldn't move. A frost that clouded his mind so that only the need for his warmth remained.

And now his real home, his own personal sun had his arms wrapped tightly around him. Yuri's face pressed into the junction of Victor's neck and shoulder. The feeling inside was like a feverish burn. Not unlike when you are outside in winter until your face goes numb and then go stand in front of a fire. First a numbness, then a soft warmth, until a consuming, almost unbearable, -but still welcomed- burning sensation crosses your skin.

With soothing shushes and smooth strokes down Yuri's cheeks with his thumb, Victor held Yuri until he could cry no more. When Yuri had quietened to a light sob, arms still chokingly tight around Victor's waist, Victor stole a glance down at his angelic face. Glasses slightly askew, hair dishevelled, cheeks red, nothing could change the fact that Yuri was absolutely beautiful.

How starved of Yuri's touch Victor felt... Yet at the same time there was that sting.

The pain that remained from being hurt by the Yuri who had walked away from him only days ago.

Yes, within his arms he had the Yuri who walked back. But if Yuri decided to leave again... What should he do?

Anyone would want to build a wall so as to not get hurt after something like that. But Yuri was his everything. As much as the pain was still an evident throb it was something that would ease with time as trust was re-established.

Victor looked past Yuri's shoulder to where his hand rested on Yuri's back. His ring shinning back in the dull winter light. His ring, through dark and light remained bright and strong. A small smile played on the edge of Victor's lips as that dull pain in his chest began to slowly subside. He was already healing from the emotional trauma. He just hoped Yuri would do the same.

Speaking softly whilst tucking one of Yuri's longer strands of hair behind his ear Victor inquired, "Yuri, do you want to get out of the cold before you get sick?" Yuri nuzzled his head against Victor's neck and hummed in agreement, his warm breath running over Victor's icy skin. Victor smiled into Yuri's hair as he planted a soft kiss on his scalp. "Where do you want to go?" Victor softly said as he squeezed the smaller man in his arms, never wanting to let go.

"Home." Victor was taken aback. Yuri was always surprising him.

"What do you mean by 'home' Yuri?" Victor asked slowly.

Yuri nuzzled even further into Victor's coat and mumbled "Back to the apartment. With you." Victor grinned widely as he interlaced Yuri's snug fingers with his own. Yuri stepped out of the embrace, his eyes downcast. "I'm sorry... about everything." Victor huffed lightly.

"We already covered this Yuri. We have some things to work through but I forgive you. It's not your fault. I'm here for you, always." He offered a warm smile and that familiar joyous glint returned to Yuri's eyes as he smiled back.

Snow crunching underfoot mixed with the rhythmic melody of their shallow breaths as the pair walked hand in hand. As they approached a major street, crowds of people milled about. A tide of noise and faces that you caught for a second before it was whisked away. The hum of thousands of conversations and lives of people unknown filled the air. But to Yuri and Victor, all that mattered was each other.

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As the door swung open silently, the apartment came into view, untouched since the night everything had occurred. Cold air seeped out of the room as flashbacks began to fill Victor's mind. The events seemed so much more bearable now that Yuri was back, not pleasant, but bearable. Makkachin trotted into the apartment, making himself comfortable on the couch.

Victor cautiously entered after Yuri, watching his every move to make sure he was ok. The pair shrugged off their coats, a light spattering of snow fell onto the ground as they did so, stripping their outer-layers that were caked with ice. Their clothing was slightly damp from the snow that had melted under their coats.

Victor stepped towards Yuri with a content grin, brushing of the straggling clumps of snow that clung to Yuri's dark hair. Yuri merely gazed up at Victor, a perplexed expression riddled his features.

"Shouldn't you be mad at me?" the words softly passed his lips, as if a prayer being whispered.

"Yuri... I don't want this to change us. I want it to be something we can move on from and learn from, something to make us stronger." He offered a timid smile.

Yuri's eyes started to water, Victor started to panic. "Don't cry! What did I do wrong? It's ok!"

Yuri shook his head, laughing softly through sniffles. "I don't deserve you." Victor smiled at this, pulling Yuri into his embrace. Warm tears on cold skin.

"I should be telling you the same thing." Yuri wrapped one of his arms around Victor's neck, the other wiped away the puddling tears on his face before placing that one around Victor's neck as well.

"I love you." Yuri's words filled with adoration. Victor sighed as their lips brushed briefly. He leaned forward and connected their lips more solidly. The kiss didn't last long but it was sweet, almost like a promise of more to come. As they pulled away there was a silent moment and then Yuri started to blush. Victor made a questioning 'huh?'

"Well... uh... I was thinking. I know it isn't that big of a deal... but maybe we could share your bed from now on... only if that's ok with you!" Yuri stammered. At this a flirtatious smile spread across Victor's face. His heart practically exploding from glee.

"Of course my little Katsudon." He grabbed a hold of Yuri's hand, guiding him to the bedroom.

A/N Ohhhhhh such a cliff-hanger, this chapter was wayyyyy too long so divided it into two pretty much so when you read this the next chapter should be out, I suggest you read that straight away.