What Now?

Shadows of the Past

Yuri glided along the ice, his movements slow and relaxed but sure. A thin white trail left behind by his every step on the pitch black ice. A light sprinkling of snow framed his thin yet muscular body with a wintery haze. Victor watched, his eyes glued to the Japanese man -who gracefully performed his free skate program, more beautiful with every turn- as he tied his skates.

I can barely remember a time without him. Victor thought to himself a smile on his face, it quickly fell into a light frown. Why did I think that? Stupid! No, stop, think of something else. The edges of his lips were tugging towards the frozen ground as he recalled the past he had tried so hard to forget.

Cold.

Victor shook his head to try and clear it, his attempt failing.

So very cold.

"...please..."

His mind was out of his control, feelings coming flooding back.

Warm tears,

Cold floor,

Cold hands,

Cold hearts.

"Victor?" Yuri spoke with a hushed tone. Concern cutting into Victor from his eyes like daggers. Yuri reached out his hand, hesitating before he could caress the Russian man's face, his hand hovering mere inches from Victor's skin.

Victor's eyes grew wide and he quickly cleared his throat looked up pushing away his memories that had invaded his mind. Quickly regaining his usual composure and overzealous behaviour he replied.

"I'm fine Yuri, nothing to worry about" he chuckled rising to his feet and stepping onto the black ice leaving Yuri's outstretched hand ignored.

Victor proceeded to move along tensely but noticed the stiffness and hesitation of the skater behind him whose back was now towards him.

"Huh?" Victor exclaimed "What's wro-"

"You're over compensating. Stop pretending you are ok when you aren't. Now, Victor this is the first and last time I am going to say this: What's wrong with you?" Yuri turned, a rock hard determination smouldering behind his eyes. Victor stood, mouth slightly ajar. Behind his confident expatriate, Victor could tell that Yuri was hiding his insecurity, his panic and hesitance still evident.

"Yuri, there's nothing wrong with me you're getting worried over noth-" Yuri shook his head vigorously slowly skating towards the other man and met his fiery glare.

"I said I was saying it once Victor and I will keep interrupting you until you answer me honestly." His voice grew louder, the echo of his words filling Victor's ears as they rebounded off the hard slate of the mountains and solid ice.

For once Victor was at a loss of words. He broke eye contact and looked behind Yuri, focusing on nothing in particular. "I don't want to talk about it." His voice breaking lightly.

"How is that fair!" Yuri yelled growing impatient and ever more anxious. Victor's icy blue eyes found their way to that of Yuri's warm brown in a flash.

"I said drop it Yuri." Victor's voice was low and threatening, something Yuri had never heard before. It was like talking to a stranger and the fear of it showed on his face. At the sight of the pain he was causing Yuri, Victor felt like he wanted to throw up and turned quickly, skating away with eyes downcast.

"Victor, wait! I'm sorry I didn't mean to" Yuri's voice grew fainter as the distance between them grew but even then anyone could tell the obvious distress in Yuri's wavering voice. Victor's skates continued to dig into the ice, gliding effortlessly despite how heavy his legs felt, the pit in his stomach growing worse by each passing second.