best friend//phan

Eleven

Dan, 15 years old

I have my first boyfriend. His name is Isaac, he's really nice. When I told Phil a few weeks ago he got really mad at me and won't talk to me now.

"Dan he's a fuckboy, he just wants to use you and leave you." He had said.
"What the fuck Phil why would you say that about him? He's literally so nice where are you even getting this from?"

"Dan I'm just warning you okay I don't want you to get hurt. There are a lot of better options than him anyway."

"I don't need you to help me Phil. And who? Who's a better option because I don't see any."

After this Phil just said whatever and walked off.

We haven't talked since.

It makes me really upset.
"Babe what's wrong?" Isaac asks me.
"Its just-"
"I swear to God if you're upset about that Phil jerk again I'm going to go punch him."

"I am, but don't do that okay he doesn't deserve it." I say.
"Okay. It just makes me upset that he's making you sad that's all." He says, and kisses me.

I kiss back.
"I know, it'll get better I promise." I say.

"Oh yeah, do you maybe wanna hang tonight? My parents are out of town, we'd be alone." He persuades.

"Okay, I don't want to do anything big tonight though, I'm not ready yet." I say.
"That's okay baby you take your time. I've got to go, see you tonight." He says.

Isaac kisses me again before leaving.

When I arrive at his house later on he is acting strange.

Like, too sweet. He is constantly touching me, like my face and legs and arms. I'm getting uncomfortable but I feel like I shouldn't be.

Besides, I can't just tell him to stop, he's my boyfriend.

Then he starts touching my upper thighs and kissing me.

His hands move to under my shirt and his body pins me to the couch. His mouth never leaves mine so I can't protest.

I'm scared. This feels wrong. Very wrong.

When his lips leave mine for a brief second I tell him to stop.
"Don't be like that babe, we're just having a little fun." He says as he tugs off my jeans.

"Isaac stop I'm not ready." I say, more demanding as he continues touching me. He doesn't listen.

This is when I start to squirm and try to pry his hands off me. I hit him. He gets off of me.

"What the fuck Dan? I thought you were different." He says angrily.
"I said no." I say, hurt.

"Well fuck you Dan. If you don't want to fool around then there's no point in dating."

"Shut up Isaac. If I'm not ready I'm not ready, don't force me."

"Then get out. You're no use to me if you don't want to fuck, so out. This is over." He says coldly.

Tears slip out of my eyes, and I rush out the door, grabbing my backback.

When I get home, I find that my parents aren't home and I don't have a key.

I sit on the porch steps, sobbing even harder. If I wasn't such a fucking twat I could just go over to Phil's.

No, if I wasn't such a fucking twat I probably wouldn't even be in this situation.

I rest my elbows on my knees and cover my face with my hands.

I don't notice when Phil comes outside, nor do I notice when he sits next to me. I'm crying too hard.

I do notice when he wraps both arms around me and shushes me.
"It's okay, it's alright." He whispers, rubbing my back.

"I-I'm so ssorry P-Phil." I gasp out.
"Dan you're fine. It's alright. Let's go in." He says. I nod and he helps me to my feet.

Phil takes me up to his room and I sit on his bed, still crying into my hands like before.
"What happened?" He asks softly, rubbing circles on my back.

"H-he was pressuring me to do it with him. I said no but he kept touching me and kissing me. I eventually got away from him but I feel disgusting. He broke up with me." I say.

"You're not disgusting Dan. And I'm sorry. I know you liked him before." He says.

"Can I shower? I honestly feel like I'm going to be sick and I don't want to feel him on me anymore." I say.

"Of course. I'll grab you a towel, you can go find some of my clothes to change into if you want." He says. I sniff, my tears are slowing now.

I do have clothes with me in my bag, but Phil's clothes are much more comfortable and they smell so nice.

I pick out a soft light grey jumper and I decide to just wear my boxers with that. Phil is my best friend, I mean we've seen eachother naked so it shouldn't matter.

Once in the boiling hot shower, my cloudy head clears a bit and my tears stop. I sit under the hot spray for quite a while, it makes me feel loads better.

When I decide to wash I giggle at Phil's choice of soap and shampoo, raspberries. It's meant for girls but who cares I mean, Phil always smells so nice and now I know why.

After I finish washing, I sit under the water just a bit longer before getting out.

I dry off, ruffling my wet, curly hair. I slide on my black boxers and Phil's jumper I snagged.

I go back into his room feeling 100 times better than I did, and sit on the bed next to Phil, crossing my legs.

"Feel better?" He asks.
"Yeah. Thanks." I say.

"Can I sleep now?" I ask.
"Of course, I was just gonna ask if you wanted to sleep." He says. I smile.

He crawls under the covers and lifts it for me.
Once I'm settled, he turns off the light.

It's normal for us to cuddle as we sleep, but it feels different now.

I'm getting this warm feeling spreading over my chest. But little do I know, Phil is getting the same warm feeling.