December 31st | pjm

SEPTEMBER 1ST

jung jiyeon

3/5/1998 - 2/9/2017

will die in a car accident. x-x-x road. at 10:42 pm. she will be the one driving the car. she'll be driving alone. she'll be crying because of a breakup with her boyfriend which will cause her eyes to get blurry and she'll drive into a pump in a gas station and her car will explode. no one will die but her but there will be several people of those who work at the gas station who will be injured.

i closed the notebook after i'd read the bold, honest words.

another person will die again. not that i cared.

she still has one day to live - good on her.

i wish i'd die already. she probably wants to live. how ironic. those who want to die live the longest, while those who crave for life get their lives stolen away at the worst of times.

do i care? no.

she's just another human. all those ugly creatures can die for all i care for.

i may sound cruel, but what's cruel is the world.

what's cruel is those ugly humans.

there is no "good person." the good people in our eyes are simply those who know how to fake a perfect façade and are good liars. none of them is real. none of them is good.

do they think i'm stupid? do they think their "random acts of kindness" will fool me? i know they all want something. they're all driven by something.

riyeon, the popular girl, is nice because she wants to be popular.

eunwoo, the nerd, is nice because he wants the teachers to give him good grades.

angela, the transfer student, is nice because she wants friends. because she wants to beat riyeon's popularity.

everyone. everyone has their own reasons to be "nice." that fake niceness does not count. why is everyone around us so stupid?

or maybe they aren't stupid. they lie too. they all lie. so if you don't believe others' lies, they won't believe yours. it's some sort of agreement - "i'll believe your lies if you believe mine. let's be friends and believe more and more lies. let's just benefit each other. let's just use each other. and once we are done, let's just separate ways."

how sick. how sick of humanity.

why did everything have to be like this?

* * *

"good morning, mr. lee!" the pink haired boy beamed at the teacher, greeting him.

"good morning, taehyung-ah." he also waved at his best friend as he passed by his seat.

"good morning, everyone!" he finally said as he passed by my seat, looking at everyone. well, everyone but me.

"and," he paused to turn around, now looking down at me, doodling quietly in my seat as i watched him out of the corner of my eye.

"good morning, eunbi-yah." he offered me a bright grin, which was only returned by a look of shock plastered on my face.

someone greeted me.

the creepy girl who sits at the back of the class.

nobody ever talked to me. they always spread rumors about me.

it wasn't his first time noticing me. he'd always smile at me. he'd always wave at me. but it was his first time talking to me.

i was at loss of words, but i wanted to reply. i wanted to say hello.

"g-good morni-ng.." my voice was hoarse and shaky. but he seemed to hear it nonetheless. he gave me another smile.

he always helped others out. i always watched him. he always was kind to everyone, including me.

even in such a cruel, ugly world. there was one human capable of being pure. a human capable of being genuine.

the world is ugly.

but he's beautiful to me.