"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
That was the first thing I heard when I awoke this beautiful Saturday morning.
"JESUS CHRIST! Che l'inferno?!" I yelled in response. At the same time the door opened to someone else panicking. "Nel?! What's wrong?!"
"Alfie! What the heck are you doing in my room?" I chose that moment to get out of the bed I was lying in.
"I don't know. But the real question here is; why the hell am I wearing skinny jeans?!" I freaked.
"You wake up in my sisters' bed, without a shirt and you ask why you're wearing skinny jeans?" The voice at the door asked.
I looked at the girl I knew from school; Noelle and what must have been her sister. "Errr... Yeah!" I start undoing my pants and quickly take them off, leaving me in my black boxers. "Skinny jeans are too tight. I was wearing normal jeans when I left my house. Strano. Have you seen my socks?"
Both girls stared at me in shock - probably checking out my tats I thought wearing a smug smile, ladies just can't resist them. I looked through the pockets for my socks only to find a piece of paper.
"This document hereby certifies the marriage of Alfonzo Giovani Lorenzo DiMatteo and Noelle Elisabeth Bianca Valerie Shaw on January the sixth 2012 at St. Johns Church. Signed by the witness; Aimee Sans, the priest; Father Joe Right and both the marital partners. Huh?" I stopped for a breath to look at the plain silver ring on my ring finger. "I guess that explains the rings then, hey, Noelle?" I smiled at her.
"WHAT?!" She yelled, knocking me back as she grabbed the paper and ran to her sister.
"Nel? Please tell me he read that wrong!" Her sister begged.
"He didn't." She whispered. They both glared at me.
I stood up and started walking backwards as Nel advanced toward me.
"Woah there, Noelle. Calm down. We can sort this out!" I started. "It takes two tango and besides, your ring is full of crystals, that will have cost me quite a bit. At least I'm not a cheap husband!" I joked. She didn't laugh.
Her silence and slow steps made me panic so I started to step back faster. What happened next was the story of my life. Disastrous. Grande.
