Marina And the Potato

chapter 1

Marina's POV

"Fuck" i mumbled to myself as i woke up with a MAJOR hangover from last night, you'd think i was partying but no i drank all the bottles by myself, proudly.

Checked my phone it said i had 1 missed call! I jumped with excitment thinking to myself "yes!! Lana finally called!" Only to be disappointed that it was my sister.

I called back "hey.. Sis!" She answered "ugh what do you want now!?" I groaned. "Haha stop being so depressed all that time sis! Its not good for you!" She replied with a mocking yet concerned tone i couldn't tell which one was it. "Yeah yeah what the fuck do you want anyway?" I replied sounding angrier with every word i say. "Oh I'm just telling you i'll be visiting you in 2 days just checking up on you"

"Fucking perfect sis fucking perfect" i hanged up as she was just about to say something.

I put the phone on the nightstand and walked down the stairs to go make myself some breakfast i was so fucking starving!

As i was walking downstairs i saw a mysterious potato on the kitchen counter.

I walked straight to the potato and held it in my hand, i looked at it and said "you know mr potato you just might be the only thing that would want to be with me in this miserable world."

The potato replied with "................"

I threw the potato away!

I screamed at it "YOU CAN SPEAK?!"

It replied with ".................."

It was an AMAZING thing!! I discovered the first talking potato!

I called charli to tell her what just happened!

M: hey charli!! You WOULD NOT believe what just happened!!

Charli: *dolphin sounds*

M: CHARLI!

Charli: *dolphin sounds get louder*

M: i guess you're busy? Okay then bye!

I hanged up confused but charli is so weird she might as well be having sex with a dolphin !

I felt so hungover and confused from the talking potato i thought it'd be better to go to sleep.

The next day i woke up at 12 pm and felt good for the first time in forever! So i decided to take some time and just chill! And this time without the alcohol!

I sat on my couch and turned on the tv, i flipped through the channels "bloody hell! nothing good is on! Now what am i gonna do?"

Just then i heard a racket in the kitchen so i thought to myself "OH MY GOD IM BEING ROBBED!"

I slowly went up the stairs and grabbed the gun in the little wooden box under my bed and calmly walked to the kitchen and i kicked the kitchen door shouting "FREEZE YOU LITTLE BITCH! I CAN WORK A GUN!"

But there was none there...

Just then i saw THE POTATO!

The potato was on the kitchen counter NAKED!

M:"POTATO WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

Potato: "............."

M:" No! This isnt right! Im not even attracted to a fucking potato!

Potato:".............."

M:"stop that! I wont listen to your sweet nothings! Now put on some clothes you're embracing yourself!"

The potato slowly walked towards me and slowly put its arms around my waist i gasped but right when i gasped it kissed me!!

I kissed it back! And we started making out real hard! Basically eating each others faces!

I pushed the potato away! And said out of breathe "stop... Wait ... Lets continue this .... in the bed room!"

The potato took me in its arms bridal style and went upstairs and threw me on the bed.