Lost In Our Past 》Clay Jensen

Chapter 4

I was finished getting ready for the dinner my mom put up. The moment I walked down the stairs Arian's family was there.

"Hey," I greeted Arian as I walked towards her.

"Nice dress," I teased, yet it did look beautiful on her.

"Ugh, my mom made me wear it." She complained, trying to get comfortable in her clothing.

"Come on, let's eat dinner." Mom smiled as she walked towards the kitchen.

I sat between my dad and Arian, and she sat between me and her mom.

***

"So, Clay how's school?" Mrs. Clarke asked.

"Well, there were a few struggles but I made it through junior year." I fake smiled, mom knowing what the struggles were.

"What kind?" Arian whispered.

"School work, the usual." I whispered back. She nodded portraying the disbelief in her eyes. Maybe, she knows that those were lies. Everyone has their struggles, the definition is just different for every person.

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Both of our moms started chatting and our dads were catching up with each other's lives. I sat outside at the porch.

"Hey, why are you here and not in there?" Arian asked as she sat beside me.

"Oh, you know just to look at the moon and sky above and also the stars." This moment brought back the emotions I had at that night. The night that Hannah and I looked at the moon. The way she looked at the moon was mesmerizing. Remembering everything that happened that night brings a lot of mixed emotions to what's happening right now--in the world without Hannah Baker.

How are you supposed to move on if everything you see reminds you of her?

"Hello? Earth to Clay," She tapped me on the shoulder and chuckled.

"Oh sorry about that," I said looking everywhere but at her.

"Lost in your thoughts again huh?" She gave out a faint smile.

"What are in those thoughts? What makes you always so caught up?" She asked in a concerned and worried tone.

"You won't understand in any way, it's better that you don't know." A confused expression made its way to her face once more.

"Look, I can help you with what you're going through right now, and I'd be glad to. We can go through this together." She stated whilst she held both of my hands.

"I don't want you to get involved with any of the mess I'm included." I smiled at her.

"I'm here for you any time you'll need me, Clay." Arian and stood up and went inside the house.

I went inside the house, "Mom, I'll just go for a walk." I told my mom who was busy talking to Mrs. Clarke.

I walked out the door and started walking to Monet's.

"Hey Clay!" I heard Arian scream catching up with me.

"Where are you going?" She asked seeming like she wanted to come.