Ako si Misis Cadiz

Unang Kabanata

Nagsisiawas na ang kagustuhan kong maging tayo kahit alam kong una, hindi mo 'ko type at pangalawa, hindi mo 'ko feel. Sobrang okay naman sa akin ang hanggang tingin na lang sa malayo ngunit ang hirap nang ganun kung magkalapit lang tayo sa klase. Katulad nito, ang hirap itago ang mga feelings kung naamin mo na dati pa. Hindi lang niya sinagot nang maayos. Hindi niya ako nireject kung saan 'yun na 'yun ang ikinakasira ko. So paano ba kami ni Mr. Wrong nagkakilala? It's because of our parents. Our parents had the doctor-patient kind of relationship, and having a son of my age was mentioned to me by my mother. I was so glad when I met him. I just don't know why, but I always had the feeling of having fun when meeting someone or anyone to be exact, who has been introduced to me by a family member. But that time, I had no feelings for him yet. I didn't even know that I would be as desperate as I am today. Hoping that maybe in the future, he would finally lay his eyes on me. But no. I am certain that that dream will never come true no matter how hard I try working for it.

It's the last year in junior high which means that our class whose members have been classmates since first year, are parting ways. And that includes me and him.

I was already on my way to school. I still had around 20 minutes to spare before the morning routine starts. Nang nasa loob na ako ng school, naisipan kong bumili muna ng inumin bago dumiretso sa klasrum. Natakam kasi ako doon sa bagong inaalok na drinks. It's only been a while since these vendo machines are placed in the campus. And so, as always, I am very bano. That was when I realized that the person walking in front of me is the guy I have fallen in love with and shredded my heart into pieces. When it's like this, I always like to examine his back. His broad shoulders that I just can't help but want to touch them. His mole on his pale-skinned neck. His interesting hair. And those hands! Those freaking hands that are just calling out to me, asking me to intertwine with mine. Okay, okay. I get what you're trying to spell out in your head. I know that I just sounded like a creepy stalker as if you guys haven't thought about things that I do, but I just couldn't help but react that way. Like you and your abs with oppas and everything. Sabi nga ni Ivy Aguas from 'Wildflower', "huwag ako. Utang na loob, huwag ako!" But anyway, I just want to get things over with. My goal for now is to get that luscious hug--drink, I mean. Praying hard for him not to look back because really, I don't want him to see me. After all, I am supposed to be mad at him. At the same time, I get all shy and cranky when talking to him. If he will talk to me.

He suddenly stopped in the middle of walking. And since me here did not notice, I unintentionally bumped into his back.

"Woah!" Ang sakit naman nung pagkakadali sa ulo ko. "Ano ba?!" Napasigaw ako nang wala sa oras. I have major mood swings, so kahit kinikilig ako ngayon, if the circumstances call for my grumpy attitude, it will show. And although I know I am also at fault here, this fish is so dead. Sobrang hot-tempered kong tao kaya kahit sino pa 'yan, lagot siya sa akin.

Tinitigan niya lang ako. 'Yung mga mata na alam mong nahihigop ka. Mga mata na nagniningning kaso hindi para sa iyo kundi para sa girlfriend niya.

Oo, friends. Taken na siya. 'Yan pala ang ikatlong rason kung bakit never na magiging kami. Kahit pa siya si Mr.  Gwapo, Mr. Sikat, you name it! Siya pa rin si Mr. Stick-to-one at Mr. Wagas-kung-magmahal. Kaya alam kong I can never come into the picture. At wala naman talaga akong balak.

"Hindi ka naman tumitingin ata eh."

"Bro, tumigil ka sa kalagitnaan ng daan. May iniisip man ako, nasa likod mo lang ako. Ba't ka naninisi?"

He just looked at me while I started glaring at him. You know, I love him, but really, I hate him so much.

"Sorry." At ganyan din siya kainsincere sa mga sorry niya. Hindi mo mapapagkatiwalaan.

Nagovertake ako tapos lumakad na muli papuntang silid-aralan. Nakakautas na kasi siya. Nakakainis. At ayaw ko na nga dapat sa kanya, right? Dapat. Dapat lang! Ang nagiging problema kasi ay pawala-wala ang determinsayon ko, ang will kong kalimutan 'tong nararamdaman ko. Eh kasi naman! Bigla-bigla siyang sumusulpot. Nagpaparamdam nang wala sa oras. Edi 'yung feelings ko, ganun din. Like a switch. On, off. Pero siyempre, this only how I feel about the situation. Things are not mutual kaya ano 'to, lokohan? Parang sipon lang na reccuring? Talagang umiiwas ako doon para maiwan din doon ang pagtibok ng puso ko para sa kanya. Kailangan ko na kasing itigil ito. Nakakamatay ang pag-ibig eh.

Nasa klase na ako. Marami-rami na rin ang tao na lahat sila mamimiss ko.  They were there at my worst and at my best times. They saw me when I was most vulnerable and did not turn a blindeye. Kahit may misunderstandings, I love them a lot.

"Good morning!" Sabi sa akin ng isang kaklase ko.

"Magandang umaga rin sa iyo, baby!" Wala lang. I just love using endearments whenever to whoever.

A sudden kiss landed on my cheeks.

"Hello, Gorg short for Gorgeous."

"'Yan ka na naman sa mga biro mo ah. Ingatan mo sarili mo! May girlfriend ka na." Bestfriend kong lalaki. "No kisses. Kahit cheeks pa 'yan. Anong iisipin ng mga tao?"

"Chill ka lang, love. Break na kami."

"Na naman!?" Mga lalaki talaga a'a. Pangisang daan o higit pang ginawa niyang kagaguhang ganito eh.

"Kita mo pisngi ko? Sinampal niya ako gawa lang hindi ko siya nireplyan sa gc namin."

"Aba. Sino naman 'yan sa mahaba mong listahan? Babalikan natin! Anong klasrum? Dalian mo! Aba!" Sigaw ko. Nagpipintig ang mga tainga ko. Lagot itong batang 'to sa akin. Maling-mali ang kinalaban niya.

"Sa xXx." Sabay baba ko ng gamit tapos, diretso sa klasrum na sinasabi ni tutoy. Nang makarating na akong, sabay anunsiyo, "Sinong nanampal sa bestfriend ko? Sino!?"

May isang mala-anghel na dalagang tumayo. Namumukhaan ko siya. Sabay buka ng bibig niya, "Ako. Bakit? Anong problema?" Oh my gosh. Kilala ko na siya! Siya ang girlfriend ng crush ko!

Napatingin ako sa likod ko. Nagkatitigan kami ng bespren ko lalo na't hindi man lang niya naisipang sabihin sa akin na girlfriend ni crush! Na 'yung kasintahan ng gusto ko ang siyang nanampal sa kaibigan ko!

"Bakit siya?" Bumulong ako.

"Okay. Hindi ko siya gf, nagjojoke lang ako nun. Pero sinampal niya ako dahil wala raw kasi akong itinutulong sa isang pa-assignment sa club namin. Kaya iyon."

I rolled my eyes. However, what happened is still wrong. No one should resort to violence.

"Once piece of advice," I stared at her eyes that I have hated the most. "Don't resort to violence. It ain't good, girl." I was going to leave already when she said something that made me halt and made me want to pull all her hair out.

"Alam mo ba kung bakit hindi ka gusto ni crush mo? Kasi unang-una sa lahat, ang taba-taba mo! Pangalawa, ang liit-liit mo. At pangatlo, dahil ako lang mahal niya. At never magiging ikaw!"

"Huwag ka papatol." Bulong ni bespren. Kaso it's too late. Ayaw na ayaw ko ng ganitong mga sitwasyon kung saan kailangang mang-down ng isang tao para lumabas niya siya ang da best.

"Maaaring kayo nga, pero hindi ko aakalaing papatol siya sa isang matapobreng at nagmumukhang prinsesa na frog lang naman talaga! Leche!"

Sabay kuha kamay ni bespren at lumayas na sa lugar na iyon. Oo, marami akong weakpoints sa features ko, pero anong magagawa ko. I couldn't help it. I have slow metabolism. It's in my genes na maliit ako. At alam kong sila, kaya nga lumalayo na ako.

What a jerk!

"Hoy!" Tawag sa akin ng lalaking ayaw na ayaw kong makita ngayon.

Binitawan ko kamay ni Bespren. Napacross arms ako sabay taas kilay habang nakatitig kay crush.

"Pinagsalitaan mo raw ng masama ang girlfriend ko."