It had certainly been a dull day in Night Vale. No alien abductions, no mutant limbs grown, no Satanic beings entering the city. Just the usual media conspiracies and throat mutilations due to overdue library books. Cecil had become enthralled with Helen Hunt, watching the old episodes of her sitcom Mad About You in the background of his radio broadcasts. She was nearly perfect, perhaps more perfect than Carlos, now that he lost his gorgeous hair. His gorgeous, shining hair.
Intern Lucy came rushing in, bearing strawberry pie and coffee. In her hand was a fax from the an unknown source, though Cecil knew exactly what it was. Cecil turned on his microphone and let his honey-soaked voice flow through the airwaves:
“Attention listeners, this just in, Old Woman Josie and her Angels are having a garage sale in the Car Lot. Items on sale include old Angel halos, corn muffins, a lightbulb and a coupon valid for an angel helper for a month. So head on down to the Car Lot and grab yourself a bargain! However, be sure to look out for the gaping black hole on the sidewalk near the bowling alley. To the owner of the Ford Fiesta, your car has been sucked in to the lizard dimension. And now, the weather.”
Cecil loved the sound of his own voice, his baritone croon soaring over the city gave him a satisfaction like no other. Cecil also loved this pie, it was creamy, sweet and fruity all wrapped in crispy, crispy pastry. Cecil then remembered he had made a crucial mistake. He had forgotten his guest, Carlos. The scientist, the perfect, beautiful, delicious scientist. His olive skin and tasselled hair glinting in the fluorescent street lights. Oh dear, beautiful Carlos.
Cecil grabbed Intern Jeremy and made him drive the car down to the bowling alley to pick up Carlos as planned by the two. Tonight, Cecil would make his move. He grabbed a bottle of his favourite cologne, poured a glass of Pinot Noir for each, lit some candles and played smooth jazz over the company speakers. Cecil went back to the airwaves for some more news, trying to stall while he could.
Intern Georgia rushed in and announced that Intern Jeremy had been sucked into the lizard dimension where he was crowned Lizard King and then ritually eaten by the lizards after having his organs splayed over a blood magic dais and being sacrificed to the lizard gods.
“Darn”, thought Cecil “He made such good strawberry pie.”
He asked Georgia to get him some romantic fruit and went back to the news.
YOU ARE READING
My Dinner with Station Management
FanficIt's just an ordinary day in Night Vale, the sky is purple, the screams are quiet and the black abyss outside the bowling alley leading to a lizard dimension is shining brightly. Cecil Palmer has a very special guest, but will his many, many hindera...
